


Tears in the darkness

by ReevaKnight



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Bonding, Child Edelgard, Childhood Trauma, F/F, Healing, Mercenary My Unit | Byleth, Pre-FE3H events, Teenage Byleth
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:40:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 31,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24238204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReevaKnight/pseuds/ReevaKnight
Summary: The Blade Breakers had never received such a secretive job, from the Emperor of Adrestia no less. Jeralt and his group including his only daughter Byleth... were asked to rescue the children of the Emperor himself. To hide them and return them when the time was right.Unknown to them there was only one survivor with bone white hair waiting for them...
Relationships: Edelgard von Hresvelg & My Unit | Byleth, Edelgard von Hresvelg/My Unit | Byleth
Comments: 76
Kudos: 373





	1. The Blade Breakers

“This is such a strange job.” He grumbled out as his band surrounded him; with a sigh, his eyes left the official letter that was in his grip, back up to his mercenaries. Jeralt could only scan the faces and body language of his Blade Breakers. A few of them all glanced at each other and back at him. Faces were grim but also confused, unsure how to approach this. Just as much as he was. 

A slight breeze cut through his open tent as he stood with the others, flapping at the entrance sheets lightly, even as they were pinned up to allow easy entrance and exit. The breeze caused the paper in his hand to fold sharply as the thin sheet offered little resistance to the elements. Jeralt unconsciously gripped the paper harder to make sure it wasn’t lost. 

“Well… it is a lot of money.” Someone piped up: an older male who had been with him for a number of years.   
“But sir… since when does the Emperor himself request aid so secretly? And to mercenaries no less!” A female, younger. He found himself agreeing with her, the Blade Breaker himself hummed in response. Various grumbles of similar views spoke around him. Wanting the money but they didn’t work only for the cash, they refused any job that was deemed heinous or unscrupulous; Jeralt made sure of that. Anyone who thought differently would answer to him. 

That very view had only seemed to swell his ranks instead of lose people, however. He had grown to trust each and every single person in this band, no matter where they came from or their background. If they could prove themselves to him: that they wanted more than just money in this life, they were okay in his book. There were no crests or political maneuvers here, no grandstanding, and no class difference. They were all equal in standing shoulder to shoulder, no matter the battlefield or job. In a way, he was very proud of all of them; it had taken years to have such a group. One he had not even meant to create when he had first left the monastery with his baby daughter…

As proud as he was to have such a group at his back, almost like a family to him, to have people who did not seem a part of Fodlan with their obsession with class and crests, he had always questioned himself if he was doing the right thing, raising a daughter in this environment. Growing up in a campsite, to inns, and back again, learning of more ways to kill someone than playing childish games or being read stories of far off lands of heroes and villains. She knew of the battlefield, tactics, weapons, first aid, and of the need for money to live. Nothing that children really should have been concerned about.

But what choice did he have? He wasn’t going to leave her at some orphanage or… go back to the monastery. An image of the Archbishop, that everyone in Fodlan looked up to, flashed before his eyes. He swallowed his grimace: even people in this band still followed her. So, he made his choice and stuck with it. At first, prospective Blade Breakers who were joining had questioned the Captain about a small child running about camp sharpening swords and helping with rations with nary a word. But soon enough, she was just another member of the band to them: one of them. Being relied on and trusted to pull her weight… even if most of them always seemed at least a little bit put off by the emotional muteness and… empty look she bore. They tried not to say it around the Captain, but he knew what they said. He ignored it; they weren’t trying to hurt anyone, they were more just confused at the odd child. 

“It does have the seal of the Emperor, and we were given a wad of gold as a sign of good faith. I say we take the job. How hard could it be?” Someone else spoke up: the youngest of the bunch that stood around in the large tent, just large enough to manage to fit the current group comfortably. That comment made Jeralt laugh. A deep rumble at the naivety.   
“In this line of work, you should never say that.” Certain nods and mutterings around him agreed with him. 

What seemed an easy job was often the worst ones, with unforeseen trouble and danger rearing its ugly head. Jeralt liked to be ready and do his research, yet this one offered little to satisfy him. 

He didn’t have an answer right now, but at least he had the views of his group. 

“I’m going to think about this. I’ll let you know by tomorrow, latest. Dismissed.” With various words of ‘Captain’ and ‘Sir’ in respect, the group filtered out of the tent; the space they left leaving his tent just a little bit too big. But it was one he had always shared with Byleth, his daughter, ever since she was little, and he wasn’t going to change that any time soon. The space was sparse of course; this wasn’t a cozy home with paintings and fluffy toys, this was a simple affair of two bedrolls, weapons, and armour resting against a chest of plain clothes. The only sign of any personality was the two fishing poles that rested against the material of the tent. 

His eyes glanced at the two poles: he always did enjoy fishing, it settled him, let him think things through. Plus, he did always enjoy fish in camp; a fresh meal to be had, even when they were travelling from job to job. He had introduced fishing to Byleth as something they could both share; he taught her everything she knew, it was nice to teach her something that didn’t involve killing or blood; well… so to speak. He enjoyed spending such quiet time with his only child, the mop of hair at his side reminding him so much of his cherished Sitri. A slight smile curved his lips; Byleth’s mother had been hopeless at it, never catching anything no matter how hard she tried. But, she had sat with him all the same. He missed those times. 

His daughter, no matter how much she looked like his precious Sitri, was different in almost every way: not only did she pick it up quickly, just like with everything he taught her... she was so quiet. She merely sat next to him and fished, not saying a word. Something sour panged inside him at that image. 

As animated and, quite frankly, useless at it as Sitri was, Byleth was always the opposite: just as good as him in such a short space of time, yet, she just didn’t say… anything. Staring at the water, as if she was nothing more than a statue. 

Early on, he had questioned whether she even liked to fish; she had never asked to learn, or even asked to learn anything. He had simply asked if she wanted to come with him, and, as ever, she had followed. 

He didn’t know if he was just pushing his hobby on her. Sometimes, he still thought that. 

But, either way… he enjoyed their time together: one of the few times he could just sit with her, even when she never spoke. 

He was about to leave his tent when that thought stopped him: this was the perfect time to think this new job through and spend time with her. Maybe he could get her to voice an opinion? Or, at least, try and nudge something out of her. He was getting quite good at seeing small bits and pieces of personality that lay deep down: simple glances and movements, the way her brow lowered, her small hint of a smile. Her gaze as she stared into the sunset. Small things that proved she was more than just a walking shell. Unless… he was just imagining what he wanted to see. There was that, too: deluding himself in seeing what he wanted to....

With that thought and a shake of his head, he grabbed the two poles, one evidently smaller than the other, picking up the small box of bait and setting out. His boots trampled the grass underfoot as he left his only abode and out into the bright warm afternoon sun, feeling the light fall over him as a welcome friend. 

The small camp was relaxed as various members worked or chatted together: some sorting out daily upkeep, others sorting out their gear, others still training and sparring. The shouts and sharp clangs as iron hit iron mixed with the hum of chatter. But, in a few hours, they would all wind down and settle for the night, sharing food and stories and drink. Some of them would even pair up for the night; that didn’t matter to him. As long as the group was strong, he didn’t mind. His gaze traveled over to where the mounted scout had entered their camp this very morning, bearing no colours of any faction of Fodlan, carrying a bag of gold and one single letter. The rider didn’t elaborate anything once they had handed over their package and had simply left, leaving the Blade Breakers bewildered. 

Jeralt had pocketed the letter when he had picked up the poles; he wasn’t sure if he would show her the letter or just talk to her about it. But either way, he had it just in case. 

Speaking of… his gaze travelled around the camp: where was she? She was usually so easy to spot with that unusual colour of hair, the deep indigo blue so reminiscent of her mother’s deep green. A slight movement tugged at his vision, there. At the side of a tent, she was sat down, her movements jerking with purpose as she worked on something. Jeralt moved swiftly and purposely across the camp, passing by the mercenaries as he made his way; before rounding the corner of the material and tent pegs to see his only child. 

There she was: simple brown traveling clothes adorned her body, her blue hair as always standing out against the dull earth colours. He came to a stop on the muddied ground next to her; he saw now what she had been doing. She was holding a whetstone and grinding it down along the sword she was holding onto, the blade gleaming in the afternoon sun.   
She had gotten so big before he had even realised; it felt like just the other day that she was barely knee-high on him, standing there and watching the others in the camp, or later picking up the first sword that Jeralt had gotten her for her birthday. Perhaps not the best present to give to a five-year-old, but he didn’t know what else to get her, and he wanted to teach her. Start them young. Maybe he wasn’t the best role model, but he would be damned if the only daughter he had, and the only family he had left, wasn’t going to know how to defend themselves. 

Before him now was a nearly fully grown girl, at least in height; she was still a little bit spindly, even with her obvious muscle tone. He had always tried to guess how much training was too much on her: he didn’t want to hurt her, but he wanted her to be strong, so he would just cut sessions when he thought that maybe he should. He knew that Byleth wouldn’t say anything, so he had to guess. Maybe he was being too lenient… maybe he should start to be harder on her, now that her body was no longer that of a child. Was that right? He didn’t feel very good at this…

The girl next to him had heard him; she stopped what she was doing and glanced up at him, before letting her arms droop from the weight of what she was holding and leaning back to look fully up at him, her eyes flitting from his face to the rods and back again. She didn’t smile, she didn’t show any warmth at his presence, she didn’t do or say… anything. The only thing he saw in her eyes was recognition that she clearly knew who he was. But, beyond that… nothing. 

“Hey, kid.” He gave her a grin he reserved only for her, reaching his eyes and softening the old mercenary’s look. “Fancy coming fishing with me?” 

At that, Byleth stood up from her work and set the sword back on the temporary rack, leaving the whetstone with the others and turning back to her father.   
“Sure.” She extended her hand out with no emotion; he was so used to just seeing nothing that it didn’t even perturb him anymore. He was even used to the slight pang in his heart at seeing it, even as he was sure that pang would continue every time he wanted her to show… something. 

But, as always, he simply tossed the rod over to her; she caught it with little effort and set it against her shoulder, following him as he left to go to the nearby lake they were camping by. 

It didn’t take long until they passed the trodden and muddied grass of their camp and over the rocks at the edge of the vast lake, they crunched and cracked underfoot as they tread on the smaller rubble, stepping over or around the larger ones. Patches of grass still made their way through gaps in the stone every now and then, Jeralt was looking up and down the edge of the lake for somewhere good to set up. As soon as he saw it, he started to make his way over, knowing that Byleth would follow. 

“Perfect spot.” He spoke as he placed the bait box in the centre of the large, mostly flat rock, that was indeed the perfect spot, the height good enough to be used as somewhere to sit. He dropped down next to his placed box, correcting and changing where and how he was sitting, until it was just right. Byleth, next to him, did no such thing and simply plopped herself down beside him, with the bait between them. Without looking at him, she opened the bait box before him and affixed her line, proceeding to toss her rod over her shoulder and lunging the pole forward, casting the line far out into the deeper parts of the lake. The small splash was hardly noticeable. Jeralt watched her as she did so; he remembered when she was younger and she couldn’t work out how to attach the bait, so without a word, he had reached out to fix it for her. Looks like she didn’t need him to do that anymore. 

His eyes traced the length of the pole and back down to his daughter, simply sitting there and watching the lake. The waters lapping at the shoreline, softly caressing the rocks nearby on its travels to join back up with the river further down. The waters here were so serene and gentle, calming. Comforting. Reminding him of happier times when he had sat next to his precious Sitri. 

_“How do you do this?! Why won’t it stay on?!” The woman next to him yelled out, but she wasn’t angry. She was laughing. The sound rang out as clear as the bells of the monastery, but only more beautiful. The woman held her line in her hands, he watched her as she started to get it tangled in her hands. His laugh soon joined her in chorus, reaching out to help her._

He blinked, returning to the present; his partner he had wished to spend his whole life with vanished before his eyes. In her place sat their daughter, her form and features often a mirror of her mother’s. So close it was painful, only made all the worse when she didn’t smile, didn’t laugh, didn’t cry. Nothing. 

She didn’t look up at him, didn’t speak; she only stared out at the serene lake. 

With that, he affixed his own bait and cast his line out too, the hook landing close to where Byleth’s did. It was always quiet like this, Jeralt himself wasn’t always the most talkative person, unless he was drunk, but with Byleth, she hardly said a word. So, as always, he had to start. 

A sudden thought came unbidden to his mind, the time when they were celebrating a good job and one of the younger male mercenaries had tried to pass alcohol onto Byleth, trying to ‘get her to open up’ he had said. That made him scowl. Byleth said she wasn’t allowed in a rare voiced statement, which was soon followed with Jeralt pulling the guy away from her and giving him quite a fright. He was just being an idiot; looking back, Jeralt knew had acted rashly, the boy was just trying to get her to join in… but... giving her alcohol was definitely not something he would allow. At least, not yet… he had to admit, when she was older, he was wondering just how she would act, and if his own daughter could hold her own in a contest with her old man. 

But… that was just silly thoughts, from a time when she was a baby, looking forward to seeing her smile when whatever was affecting her was over. Only… whatever was affecting her didn’t go away. 

“We might have a new job.” He started suddenly, needing the distraction from his own thoughts. Byleth, next to him, flitted her gaze at him, but other than that, said nothing. 

“It’s quite an odd one, never seen anything so secretive. I would normally say no and it would be the end of it. But…” he grumbled before carrying on. “... can’t say I’m more than just tempted. It’s about more than the payoff.” Byleth now looked at him, paying more attention to what he was saying than her fishing rod. 

“Sure the payoff is nice; after all, it’s coming from the coffers of the Emperor himself. But not officially, we won’t be recognised as having done such a service in any such… capacity. That’s how it was worded anyway.” At that, he fished the letter out from his pocket and handed it to Byleth. Easier to just show her, rather than explain; he was glad he brought it. She accepted the paper and looked down at it, her eyes flitting to and fro as she read the words. 

As per usual, no emotion passed over her features. But she would understand. 

The letter was from the Emperor himself, requesting aid on a very sensitive manner. He had already paid scouts from outside of the Imperial payroll to find this information, and then pass it onto the Blade Breakers. There was a village just outside Adrestian territory, just inside Kingdom borders; on the outside, it was just like every other village. But there were apparently underground dungeons just underneath; it didn’t mention why or what they were supposed to be for, but that was where the Emperor’s own children were being held against their will. And he was begging for the aid of the Blade Breakers to rescue them. To keep them safe with his band until he could send for them at a later date. That was it, the whole letter.

It was so fishy, but he couldn’t say it didn’t pull at his heartstrings. The more Jeralt thought about it, the more a sick sort of sense it was all making. If this was due to someone in the Empire, then how could the Emperor possibly be able to help them with his own forces? Was this a possible coup attempt? But, he hadn’t heard of such a thing and surely this would have been the best time. Even if the Emperor could have Imperial support, what would that look like if they broached onto Kingdom territory out of the blue like that? Everything just screamed wrong to him, but… what if it was true? This was the Imperial seal, and giving a large bag of gold away just to trap a neutral party? The Blade Breakers had no stake in any political maneuvers. It didn’t fit with bandits or a ploy. If this was exactly what it looked like… and he said ‘no’… what would happen to those kids? Nobles could be downright cruel… and Jeralt knew of horrors in this world that many did not. Could he live with himself if he did nothing?

The letter was soon passed back to him. Jeralt took it and folded it back into his pocket. 

Before he could ask for her opinion. Byleth’s line tugged, he shut his mouth as he watched her battle the fish, standing up and pulling the line to hook it, before winding the creature towards them. Soon enough, a large pike erupted from the water on the end of Byleth’s line. Jeralt could only feel pride as she reeled such a fish in. 

“Nice one, kid!” He exclaimed excitedly, feeling like a kid himself. “I’ll get whoever is on cooking duty tonight to prep that for you.”   
Byleth didn’t join in the celebration of her catch, she simply dropped the still flapping fish onto the rocks behind her, as she re-baited her line and cast it back out, sitting back down with a glance back as the fish grew still.

Once the calm had, once more, covered them in its gentle, if awkward, blanket, Jeralt decided he wanted her opinion on this matter. He had everyone else's, he wanted hers. 

“So, what do you think?” He asked of her. “ Should we take it?” Once again, her initial response was to peer up at him, before drifting back to the lake and their twin lines.   
“You said that we should help people.” Jeralt smiled. He did always say that. It wasn’t quite an opinion, but it might be the most he can get from her; he wasn’t sure if she agreed or not but… that was enough for him. He hoped they weren’t making a mistake. 

“We’ll head out in the morning, be ready.” 

* * *

A high pitched squeak sounded out in the darkness… a clink of chains as someone shifted and moved in the pitch blackness that enveloped her. Sniffles and hiccups from the little girl smothered by the darkness, tears drifted down her cheeks as she whimpered and cried in the stifling heavy black. 

She flinched and drew back as the squeaks grew closer, but she didn’t have the energy or the voice to shout at them. Her throat was so raw, it was painful; she was parched but she would get no water. She desperately wanted them to go away… wanted them to leave her alone… leave her alone… leave her alone… leave her alone! She couldn’t take this anymore! She rattled her chains that held her wrists above her head; as always, they held firm. It was useless. She couldn’t get away, she was… going to die down here. She wouldn’t see the light again, wouldn’t see anyone alive ever again…

She knew she wasn’t alone… the bodies of her siblings were still here, where they had been chained up. All around her, she knew they were still there. They didn’t speak anymore… but that was okay. She was going to join them soon, they were waiting for her. She wished she could see their faces, but the darkness was blinding. She knew they were there, watching her with those unblinking eyes. Her youngest sister was the last to go. Right next to her, she had wanted to reach out to her, to soothe her, just like she had done in the light of day. But, she could only listen as one day she simply… stopped talking. 

The darkness penetrated her and infected her; it was all she knew now, she didn’t want to die… she let her tears fall once more. Her arms hurt from being chained up, her body hurt from her wounds; how was she still alive? She shook from the cold, dirt and filth covered her, a rag atop her body, but not like it mattered.

She wasn’t going to get out of this… was she? She wanted to laugh… to cry… for someone to hold her. She was starving, her insides hurt, but maybe that would make her die sooner? Was it a good thing? But… she didn’t want to die! She screamed out into the darkness. Her voice raw and strained, until she couldn’t scream anymore… the wail echoed out into the room she was cramped into, the room she still shared with her brothers and sisters… her… dead… brothers and sisters. The cold stone floor underneath did nothing to comfort her, the rats squeaking out as they travelled over her sibling’s bodies… 

She could only cry… again… it was all she could do. No one was coming to save her, and all she could do was… cry. Even as she thought that she still felt the tears once more falling down her face. 

Suddenly, the far door slowly opened, filling the room with a bright, white, piercing light. Her eyes couldn’t get used to the sight, and she was momentarily blinded. But, she knew who it was. Who it always was… her heart sank and her stomach lurched as fear ripped through her mind, up her spine… and out of her mouth.

“No!... L-leave me alone…” She cried out as she pulled and tugged uselessly to get away. Cold fear laced her every action, acidic bile rose to her throat at the form that entered the room. “... p-please… just leave me alone!” She begged and cried and pleaded… but just the same as always… it was useless. She couldn’t run, couldn’t hide... she could do nothing. 

“Why, Your Highness…” Spoke a voice dripping with venom, a sick satisfaction at how he was affecting her running through his gait and words. “Why would I do that? Not when you are our greatest success? You have succeeded where your pathetic siblings failed. Now the real tests begin…” 

The stranger, she didn’t know who he was; she would never know who he was, like so many times before … he reached out to her and unlocked the chains, her sore, useless arms falling beside her, but it was little relief when her captor hooked his fingers into her dirty and matted hair, to drag the girl out of the cell behind him. Her weak legs were barely able to prop herself up. As she was forced to follow him into the light, she opened her eyes to try and focus on where she was going… and her eyes caught the sight of one of her brothers…

His empty, glass-like eyes stared right back at her, through her… his rotting flesh caked with dried blood; she couldn’t smell anymore: she had been here that long that it was simply gone, but there was nothing wrong with her eyes. That sense was working perfectly, her brother… who once upon a time used to tease her, play with her, cuddle her… he was just… lying there. Still. Disgusting wounds covered him, his skin flayed and slashed to ribbons, his once brown hair had turned a shocking white, his body was gaunt as he sat back against the wall, his wrists still chained up where they had left him. That image stayed with her as she was dragged out of the room… something broke then… she couldn’t scream or cry anymore, she felt… numb. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was enjoying writing bonding daddy and daughter time, even with pre-Sothis Byleth being kinda blank. Aww. Bless her.
> 
> Writing how Edelgard must have felt while trapped and experimented on by TWSITD def brings it home a lot more how she must have suffered, :(.
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed the first chapter!


	2. The Prisoner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait! Here is the second chapter. Thank you for reading!

“It just looks like any other village…” Jeralt scowled as he heard someone behind him mutter. It did. Just another inconspicuous village starting the day: setting out for the fields, working the shops, opening up the inn for the day. Nothing out of place, it all looked so… normal. But, this was the place in the letter: the place that hid a secret underneath the ground. Right now, underneath their feet, there were hidden rooms and corridors, hiding goddess knew what. Jeralt felt the hairs at the back of his neck rise. He didn’t like it, not one bit; he felt like he was going in blind here. Underneath him, his horse padded a heavy hoof into the ground, shifting its bulk and huffing out its own unease. Before he could pet the great loyal beast, another hand reached down to pat at its neck: his daughter was seated in the saddle with him as they travelled closer to the suspicious hamlet. She was closer to his prized steed’s head, and, without a word, had leaned down to pat and stroke the mighty warhorse to settle. Another huff followed, but softer, blasting out air from the powerful lungs that they were atop of. 

Jeralt went back to looking at their destination, before turning back to his team; he didn’t take everyone. He never did for any job, the rest of them were ordered to check into another village close by and stay at the inn. They would meet them there tonight. 

Jeralt’s group consisted of himself and Byleth, as well as two of his band masquerading as merchants on a simple cart, usually what they used to haul their equipment and other needed items. This was filled just enough to pass for simple wares, the two cart-horses were not trained war horses and only ever pulled their goods, so the look worked. The beasts were indifferent as they pulled the cart along the dirt track road, kicking up dust and earth as they plodded along. Another mercenary trailed along behind the cart, to act as another guard to their ‘merchants’. 

The idea was to use the cart to house all of the liberated children, to take them all back to the other village, and see what could be done from there. That was the plan anyway; they were looking for eleven of the kids… Jeralt had to stop a grimace. Sometimes, nobles bred themselves to such a degree to try and produce crest offspring… it was downright abhorrent. But, he wasn’t being paid for his opinion here… after all, these were just kids… his eyes wandered down to his daughter as she sat in front of him, surrounded by his arms as he held the reins of his horse. What would he feel like if Byleth was taken from him? That was all the convincing he needed to know that this was the right thing to do. 

He was always unsure if he should take Byleth on any missions yet, she was still young. But then… she could out duel anyone in camp already, so her age seemed a moot point. She could also be a dirty fighter when the need arose; she knew better than most that the battlefield was not a poem or a story dripping in chivalry: it was a fight for survival, to live. Opponents couldn’t read the expressionless fighter, nor would they know the lengths she would go to win. She wasn’t nasty or evil, nor took delight in hurting others; it definitely wasn’t like that with his daughter. But, if it came down to her or them, she would choose herself every time, with no hesitation. 

The village up ahead was drawing nearer now; the dirt road just the same as every other dirt road, the simple houses with its simple populace. Nothing seemed out of place or different in any way. He wondered how the original scouts had felt, and how they had even managed to find the information his Blade Breakers were now working off. 

The morning sun was high in the sky, the farming fields around them filled with the growing crops to be harvested in a few months’ time. A slight breeze flitted over the wheat and vegetable patches, farmers out managing the fields bursting with this year’s life. The smell of manure hit his nose as cattle wandered about close by, dogs corralling the fluffy balls of wool, bleating and trotting about with nary a care in the world. It was downright off-putting. 

Something like this would normally set him to ease, knowing a warm bath and a bed was waiting for him. But not here, not today; that was back in the other village his group was waiting at. Not this one. This one only set his muscles on alert, as if the absolute normalcy was something so… wrong. Did these people know what lay underground? Were they involved? Or were they completely innocent? He hoped it was the latter. His hand gripped onto the reins tighter, half-expecting some sort of attack. 

The only thing they received were a few idle glances, and even smiles, as the group made their way amongst the small populace. The average houses and average shops surrounding them, the chatter and haggling so commonplace anywhere else filled the air, it all seemed so… normal. As agreed, the group came to a stop outside the inn, as if to rest for the night and peddle their wares. Jeralt turned back to the three members of his band behind. Their gazes all locked together in a mutual understanding. These three would stay here, ready to move at a moment's notice, to blend in with the shops and farmers. With nary a word, they all dropped from their mounts; if anyone was paying attention they might find it odd that none of them moved to unsaddle their steeds....

Jeralt dropped to the plain dirt road underfoot, Byleth had dropped just a second earlier; he still felt on high alert, as if someone was going to jump them. He never did like stealth, it wasn’t for him. He preferred to know his enemy was right before him, something to assess and bring down. None of this unseen sleight of hand. He didn’t like it.

His eyes began to scan the road for houses… there was a particular building they were on the lookout for. It was detailed well on the back of the letter, in writing different from the Imperial type of the Emperor: it was the writing from the scout. A house off the beaten track, blending in with the others, but the scout detailed the outside perfectly, as well as the guard that supposedly was always there, who sat outside, reading. 

He sure hoped this information was right. 

His eyes glanced down to meet Byleth's, their eyes locked; she said nothing, neither did he. But as a pair, they moved off further down the street and away from the little merchant caravan; as discussed, without a word, one of the ‘merchants’ would take care of his steed. 

Their boots trod down the dirt path of the area, still feeling like anywhere else. A few merchants called out to them to see their wares, but they passed on, ignoring the shouts who very quickly passed onto someone else. The pair moved off the main road and onto a less traveled path between the houses, the pair moved as if they had been here many times. Jeralt knew someone should always look like they belong: don’t stand out. The path grew narrow as the noises of the street behind grew quieter. 

This village was sparse, so even if they had to check every house, it wouldn’t take that long to find the one they were looking for. 

The path wound its way around a few houses: mothers with children dotted around, washing blew on lines, dogs yapped close by. All standard and expected with a small village such as this. The bright and cheery sun only added to the calming atmosphere, which, right now, did nothing but unnerve him.

A sudden tap on his arm alerted him to Byleth, who was standing behind him; he abandoned what he was looking at and whirled around. There… 

An inconspicuous house right in the centre of many others, as if the others had been built up around it; the path narrowed again to get by, having to almost squeeze behind another house to get to this one. Sure enough, there was a man sitting by the door. Nothing about him seemed off, but there he was as described, reading a book. 

Even in the morning sun, shadows were everywhere. The enclosed space seemed to rebuff the sun that attempted to light the alleyway. The male’s eyes were on the book before him but… he wasn’t turning the pages. Jeralt pressed onwards in the direction they had been travelling, passing his look as if it was idle interest. Once he was sure they were out of earshot, he stopped, his boots shuffling on the dusty floor as he turned to Byleth. His voice was hushed, keeping his voice low, but not suspiciously so. 

“That’s gotta be it. The path leads past him; you circle round to the other side. I’ll distract him. See if you spot anyone else watching.” At that, Byleth turned to keep on following the trail, sidestepping a cat as it ran across her path. 

Jeralt turned back to where he had seen the guard. He walked up to him purposefully; the man still didn’t seem to react where he was sitting.   
“Excuse me, hope you can help me.” The man didn’t move from where he was reading… supposedly. “My daughter has lost her dog, it should be around here somewhere… have you seen it?” He felt awkward, he sure hoped he sounded convincing, Jeralt hated acting, and subtlety like this, but life as a mercenary wasn’t always about what you were good at.

The man didn’t respond to him. Jeralt drew closer to him, he could have sworn he noticed him tense up. 

“It ran down here, surely you must have seen it.” He tried to sound earnest, though he was unsure if he was pulling it off. Jeralt ignored the presence of his daughter beginning to walk down the path on the other side of him, she was shaking her head at him. She hadn’t seen anyone else… good. The man was trying very hard to ignore him now. 

“Listen, my girl is really upset.” He just about got that line out with a straight face. Eventually, through his prodding, the man looked up from his book.  
“Go away. I don’t care about your stupid kid’s dog.” Now standing up to his full height and off the chair he had been previously on. Jeralt pretended to look passive.   
“Oh… well, that’s a shame.” Suddenly and without warning, the Blade Breaker struck. Not giving the guard a chance to react, he placed his hands onto his shoulders and forced him down, bringing up his knee to smash into the male’s face. Jeralt’s knee flashed in slight pain, but the job was done, the nose a bloodied mess as the man fell to the floor, unconscious. He sure hoped he hadn’t knocked out some random guy going about his day. 

Byleth didn’t even wince when the guy went down; instead, she reacted and jumped over to the nearby door. The beaten-up wooden door opened when she tried it, thank the goddess. With one last quick look around, Jeralt dragged the body of the guard inside the house, book and all. The inside of the house was dark, the outside sunlight wasn’t here in this room. The dark here emanated throughout the room: stuck to it, clung to it, like some sort of growth that hugged the walls and threatened to drown them. Jeralt shuddered as they made their way inside. 

The house inside was sparse, the front room inside bore a bed and table. But, it was so bare, clean but… bare. As if no one lived here. 

Byleth’s gaze quickly took in the room. Jeralt dragged the unconscious man and, unceremoniously, dumped him near the bed. He, too, took in more of the room. Apart from looking bizarrely unlived in, there was nothing more here. There must be more than this; Byleth must have thought so too, carefully as not to make much noise she made her way further into the dark house, peeking around a door frame into another room. There was something definitely unsettling about this place. Jeralt joined her at the door at the other end. 

Byleth didn’t look up at him, but he too, now stared at what she was looking at: there it was, a set of stairs leading downwards. To anyone else, it could have just been stairs down to a basement, but in a village like this? No, this had to be it. The room was so dark, he was struggling to see more details as the shadows suffocated and draped over the features. 

Jeralt resisted the urge to try and fix some sort of torch; the house here was a simple wooden abode, just like the rest. One wrong move and he would do more harm than good. Willing his eyes to try and pierce the shadows as he moved away from his daughter, who still stood at the frame and moved closer, the floor creaked as the stale smell of old wood grew stronger. 

Peering down the stairs, he could see the odd glow of a pale green light… he hummed low under his breath in contemplation. His gaze moved up, back to Byleth as he waved her over, before he started to venture down the stairs; there were only two of them; normally, he would station someone to stay here in case someone entered in behind, but he didn’t want to risk leaving Byleth alone up here. The pair of them would be safer together. 

The stairs creaked worse than the floorboards of the ground floor as they made their way down, his heavier weight causing more noise than his daughter’s did. But he couldn’t help it, he only hoped that there wasn’t anyone down there just waiting for them. 

The glow grew brighter now as they made their way down, the stale smell starting to fade and be replaced by something much worse… at first, the stink was faint, it made him scrunch his nose in disgust, like a pervasive smell one just couldn’t get rid of, no matter how many perfumes they put on top. But, as they descended and the green light grew brighter, the stench only got worse and worse. 

The smell of rot and vomit filled their noses, it pierced through and pulled at his guts, he had to swallow to stop a sick feeling from overpowering him. The green light seemed to match with the sick smell that engulfed the pair, the ill aura of sickness. That’s what the green light reminded him of. 

A background stench of chemicals mixed in with the rot, but it wasn’t powerful enough to overlay the decay. Bile rose in his throat; just what nightmare was this? But he didn’t dare think too hard or too long, he didn’t want to think who or what could be down here and why. He had a job to do. He steeled his gaze as the Blade Breaker finally descended to the floor. His foot hit an unusual clang of… metal. It immediately made him look down. This was odd. How did someone make this? He could not fathom how an entire place could be filled with metal; he allowed himself a second to stare at the floor to try and ascertain the type of material, but it looked like nothing he had ever seen before. 

It was nothing but a distraction though, he pulled his thoughts away as he reached for the odd light at the side of them: a bizarre green jewel burst the strange light that bathed the corridor and the pair of them in the ill glow. The stench didn’t go away and it was hard to get used to, but no smell could stop him from completing his mission. He glanced back at Byleth bringing up the rear, she bore no such disgust on her face; from her expression, he couldn’t even tell she could smell the same thing as he did. But… there. A slight twitch of her eye. She smelled it alright. 

A small beam of pride rippled through him as he thought how he was able to read the small expressions of his often blank daughter: she wasn’t blank at all. She just had trouble expressing herself, that’s all. 

At that, he turned back to the task at hand; he desperately wanted to use something over his face to stop the smell that was churning his stomach, but there was no time for that. Get in, get out. The small jewel was surprisingly cold to the touch; not what he had expected, but he picked it up regardless, using it as a makeshift torch to light his way. 

The pair travelled further into the bizarre metal corridor, the smell travelling with them, their boots clinking off the floor now. 

Doors started to come into view as they travelled: just how far does this go on for? 

Or at least… he was pretty sure they were doors… it was a door frame with another strange metallic indent with what looked to be some sort of handle. Yes… must be a door, this was so off putting and unnatural; even without the pervading smell, this would make him nervous and feeling ill at ease. 

The handle was cold to the touch as he expected; with little effort, the odd door was pushed open, the room inside was revealed to hold that same odd glow from the light he was holding. The illumination filled the small room with its sickly aura as his eyes took in the layout. It looked like the inside of a lab: desks lined the edges of the room, glass beakers lay strewn about, some still holding contents of various colours as papers and charts littered the walls; a stain of some sort of dark colour corrupted the clean metal underfoot, clearly dropped from a desk. The sharp smell of chemicals overpowered his senses for a second, this was where that smell originated from. 

He wasn’t looking forward to finding out just where the other smell was coming from. 

He wasn’t bothered about what was in the room beyond his mission, so he abandoned the room, and tried a door further down. 

Once more he opened it to find some sort of… kitchen? Various meat and other foodstuffs decorated shelves, but the other devices in the room felt utterly alien to him. Just what was this place? An annoyed weight settled in the pit of his stomach, right on top of the churning. 

The pair carried on their search, seeing room after room, unknowing and starting to be uncaring as to what any of them were. Jeralt’s confusion as to just what exactly this place was starting to pull at him; he had travelled the length and breadth of Fodlan, but this place wasn’t like anything he had ever seen. 

“Intruders!” A sudden shout rang out from behind them. Back down the corridor they had come from. Of course… this had all been too easy so far. 

That annoyed weight grew from his stomach and settled into his chest, as he handed the weird gem to his daughter and drew in front of her; she took it without a word and stood behind him, keeping the light as their only source of vision beyond what they found in the rooms. 

Another unnatural light lit up the corridor from the far end, this was of a colour he recognised, a deeper yellow light from a spell. A mage. Now, this was something he knew how to deal with; he didn’t need to say a word to Byleth, as she knew exactly what he wanted from her. He could almost imagine her ducking down behind him, hand on her own sword, as Jeralt removed his shield from his back. 

Now he wasn’t about stealth anymore; he wasn’t going to simply knock out these mages, these were enemies. Their enemies. 

A burst of bright light lit up the corridor as a great ball of fire roiled down the slim passageway; on instinct, Jeralt ducked, his shield clanging to the floor, a quick check back was all he needed to see Byleth had ducked too. The fire sailed harmlessly over their heads, as the heat of the stream singed the hair of his head.

Too close; he wasn’t going to give them another chance. Jeralt may have been a horse rider out in the open field, but he was just as deadly on foot and indoors…

The Blade Breaker roared out his challenge as he charged, his shield raised high to stop any more bursts of magic as he sprinted back down the corridor. His heart in his throat as he ran, the distance feeling like miles; another burst of deadly fire erupted light into the corridor, blinding him, but he closed his eyes against the flash as the fire smashed into his shield, ignoring the embers that passed over him: he couldn’t stop now. 

The fire passed over him to fall harmlessly to the floor now as he charged through the last of the flame, the angry, roaring fighter burst through the attack and straight into the mage. The cloaked attacker grunted as he was shoved to the floor; with his shield still covering him, Jeralt forced his sword down and straight through his opponent, cold steel meeting cloth and flesh, until he hit the metal at his feet. Blood exploded, even as the sword trembled fiercely from metal smashing against metal, but he ignored it as he tugged the weapon out. Another spell splashed over his shield now: there was no light to accompany it, this one stank of chemicals like in the room before; the dark liquid engulfing his shield, the metal burning and fizzling as it dissolved right in his hand. Before the mage could ready another shot, he flung his melting shield out to his attacker, it smacked right into the face of the other mage, a sick crunch sounded out as he too, fell to the floor. 

Jeralt leapt on top of the other attacker as his sword plunged into the back of the other robed figure, the still bloodied sword pushing through muscle, flesh, and bone to meet the metal floor. The clang ricocheting once again up his arm; ignoring it, Jeralt pulled his weapon out of the body. Looking up the corridor for any more enemies, the light was gone and only the shadows of the stairs greeted him. 

He stood still, listening… waiting for anyone to come running. 

But no one did, they were alone once more. The adrenaline and focus from the battle faded from his senses, to be replaced by the off putting stench of decay and rot once again. 

He turned from the bodies that lay on the floor; he didn’t know who they were beyond being enemies: he was a mercenary, that was good enough for him. His clanging footsteps stepped closer toward the far end, where his daughter was waiting for him; with her hand still on the handle of her own sword she held the light of the gem up for him to see. The green aura washed over her and clung to her form. Her face impassive as ever, unflinching as she watched him take down two enemies. 

“C’mon…” At that, they continued their journey. 

More and more rooms dotted around, each one leading to more of the same… Jeralt started to grit his teeth; he was getting irritated, his muscles were on high alert for more attackers, and all they were finding were empty room after empty room!

* * *

The pain and ache of her arms pulled at her muscles, but she did nothing to try and alleviate it; there was no way to anyway. The chains held her fast to the wall; she wasn’t going to get out of this, was she? Her empty eyes glanced around the dark room to where she knew her siblings still were, chained up and simply… left. It wasn’t going to be long… surely… She didn’t even care anymore. Not really. 

Her body was failing her: her muscles might as well be non-existent, her wounds panged and ached, even days after they had been inflicted, the same sickness in her stomach stayed with her day after day, she wasn’t even sure if she could eat, even if food was before her now. But that didn’t really matter either, they would just force-feed her like they always did. She would just force herself to eat it, she didn’t know what else to do. 

Old tears stained her cheeks as she sat against the wall, tiny squeaks broke through the silence of the darkness; it was the only noise she often had, the only thing to keep her company. Her eyes flitted to where the noises were, before back down to the floor, not that she could see anything; it was always pitch black in here. 

Suddenly, her ears picked up a new sound, of approaching footsteps and voices… 

Her heart rate skyrocketed, fresh tears budded in her eyes. She didn’t want to see them again… please… she wanted to go home. She wanted to be with her family again… she wanted to be anywhere but here… please…

Fear ripped through her, even though her small, thin body could hardly show it; she could only shudder and twitch in her chains. 

The door before her began to open, a pale sick light burst into the room, blinding her. It wasn’t like the normal light that greeted her when they came for her, it was more like the light of the rooms. The rooms… she hated those rooms… they took her there to hurt her. 

Her eyes stung as she struggled to adjust to the light. Footsteps thudded into the room now, more than one set; unusual. The tears leaked down her face as she shook, waiting for them to come for her again… wondering what it was this time. 

But a shocked gasp brought her head up to the light this time, still too bright, but just being able to make out two figures: one was larger, he was at the back. He was the one who gasped… there was another. The other was the one who held the light and immediately drew her gaze. 

It was… a girl… 

The girl looked to be a few years older than herself; the object she was holding emitting light, she held it just off her own face, illuminating the room around them. The faces and bodies of her siblings were now on show, but she had already seen them before… what she hadn’t seen before was this girl. 

The girl seemed to just… stand there, unmoving; she didn’t react how Edelgard would have expected, the other was voicing something about the room, but she couldn’t understand quite what he was exclaiming. His voice was raised and harsh, sounding so opposite to the slimy words of the people she was used to. But it was the girl who held all of her attention. 

She wore a mix of cloth and leather along her form; she couldn’t put her mind to what it was, her memories struggled for an answer, she didn’t look like a soldier or a mage or a villager. She could only stare blankly up at her as… the girl stared blankly right back. The light from the gem emitted the green aura she had grown to hate, the side of the stranger’s face was positively bathed in the light, making her skin glow an acid green. Her eyes and hair seemed almost dark green as they stared at each other. 

It felt like an eternity as she struggled to comprehend what was happening, but that moment had only taken a second, as the larger of the two handed something to the smaller girl; he seemed… distressed at what he was seeing, but the other one didn’t react… at all. Looking at the larger one was making her heart hurt, he was making her shake, she felt a panic… but when she looked at the smaller one, there was nothing. She just felt… nothing, she kept her gaze on her. If she watched her, she could stay calm, like she was just… nothing. A space just for her in the eye of the storm.

With the clanging of a key in the lock, her arms fell away once more, to fall uselessly to her side. She expected the pull, the forceful motions, the hand in her hair. But… it never came. Without a word, the girl gently placed a hand on her arm. Such a soft motion… why? 

She could only look up now and stare right into the eyes of this girl. Who was she? Why was she here? What was she going to do to her? 

“Can you stand?” She could only blink up at her. What? What… why would she ask that of her? Why did she need her to stand? The girl before her cocked her head to the side, like she was confused. As the prisoner hadn’t moved, the strange girl kneeled and moved closer to her; she flinched back, this was the part where she was forced to get up, forced to move, pulled along, just like all the other times. 

But, the girl moved slow… as if around a scared animal, putting her hands under her arms. The prisoner’s tears flowed as she tried to raise her arms to resist… she didn’t want to anymore!

But instead of forcing her to her feet, the odd girl picked her up… her hands under the thin girl’s armpits as she raised her… gently… to stand. What was going on? The prisoner couldn’t handle this as she moved to get away, to get out of her grip. But, she was more surprised how… the odd girl let her. She moved out of her grasp easily, without any resistance. Her legs were weak with underuse, as they threatened to fall under her, but… a strange energy filled her. Her confusion and the bizarre… blankness kept her calm. Kept her from screaming. Kept her from crying. 

“We are going to leave this place.” 

What was that? They were leaving? Why? Where are they going? 

“Can you hold my hand?” She could only stare up at the odd girl holding the light. They were leaving? She had wanted to for so long… but… 

She looked down at the offered hand… reaching out for her… they never did that. Who was she? Her arm was heavy… so heavy… it was painful, it ached. But… she didn’t want to be here anymore… 

More and more tears leaked from her eyes as they crossed her cheeks and dripped to the floor, but the girl didn’t react; she didn’t seem to react to anything, only to watch her. She wanted to hold her hand… she actually found that she… wanted to. She managed to raise her arm, and, ever so slowly, every movement was shaky… she placed her hand onto the odd girl’s… 

Fingers enclosed around her palm… but so soft… gentle. The prisoner simply had to pull and she would be free from the grip. She looked back up to this bizarre person… to see a very small smile peak at the edge of the other’s lip. She almost missed it… but it was there...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jeralt is a badass...
> 
> Also writing that bit at the end.... ; ;


	3. Rock in the Storm

The steady rocking of the cart as it bumped and trundled along the road, the clip-clops of the horses as they made their way over the dirt and stone roads, the blinding light filling her vision. It was all so much, so overwhelming; she didn’t know how long it had been, but it felt like so long ago since she had been outside. Away from that place. The air was warm out here… she couldn’t help her eyes as she scanned around everywhere and tried to take everything in all at once. It was so much. Too much.

The sights, the sounds, the smells: it was all so much. 

The prisoner sat against the side of the cart that the other girl had helped her into, telling her again that they were going to leave this place. The other, taller male told her that she was safe now. Was she? Was she really safe? Were these people not going to hurt her? Or were they just taking her somewhere else, so someone else could hurt her…?

The prisoner shrank inwardly to herself, shaking even with the warmth on her pale skin. She had hoped in her heart that if she could just get out of that place, then everything would be okay again, and everything would go back to how it was… but nothing would ever be the same again. Here she sat… the last one alive of her siblings. They were all… gone. How was she supposed to deal with that? She wasn’t even sure if she, herself, was even alive… she didn’t feel alive. Strands of white hair fell over her face, she ignored them: that wasn’t even her own hair anymore, she didn’t know who she was anymore. 

Her body was still so sore, her throat was parched, her mouth was so dry, and her body hurt. It wasn’t better. Not at all. 

But, the cart just rumbled on, ignoring the thoughts in her head. The empty space in the cart was only filled with one other person: the girl who had brought her here; she still didn’t know what to think of her. But, she found that she could deal with the strange girl being here. The bigger man and the others stared at her with a mixture of horror and pity filling their eyes; anger was in the body language of the tall male who had been down there with the girl. She couldn’t deal with being around them right now, but with the other girl, she didn’t feel that. She didn’t have to see those emotions on her face, it was helping to keep her grounded. Maybe she should feel creeped out or freaked out by her, but she really didn’t. Maybe… maybe they did something to her, too? Is that why she doesn’t react? Maybe she knows? 

But, the small girl couldn’t say anything, a small fear still covered her heart that maybe she wasn’t safe, that this was just them taking her somewhere else. Even stepping over the bodies of the ones who had hurt her on the way out… was that real? She found she didn’t feel… anything to see them. No anger, or even elation, that they were dead. She just felt nothing. 

Heavy rustling sounded out before her, from where the prisoner was crouched down by the side of the cart; she stared forward from under the messy, dirty, white strands of hair that covered her face. The girl from before was rooting through a bag, her face just as impassive as it had been ever since she had first seen her. Now that she could look at her in the sunlight, she could see that her hair wasn’t green at all: it was a trick of that horrible light she hated. It was blue, a deep, indigo blue that reminded her of the sky. The sky on a clear day, no clouds, no weather, just… nothing. So calming and gentle. An emptiness one could get lost in and almost forget that it was above such an overwhelming world, just the same as this girl here. The pale, white-haired girl looked out of the back of the covered cart; the back was open, she could very easily just jump out of the back. They weren’t guarding her very well. But… where would she go? Would it be better if she jumped… or stayed? Her body was too tired to move, her wounds hurt, her mind felt so… broken. What would be the point? 

A sudden movement drew her attention, the older girl seemed to have found what she was looking for and came to sit right next to her, a slight distance between them as the other girl plopped down beside her. Her warmth was… comforting to be next to. She didn’t want to be looked down at right now, not in pity or sympathy. She didn’t need that right now. 

“Water?” The indigo asked of her; the white-haired girl didn’t say a word, she simply stared at the offered waterskin. The taller girl took the waterskin back, and took a swig from it herself, before offering it once again… what was she doing? Was she trying to prove it was okay to drink? 

She was so thirsty… 

Shaking hands reached out for the skin, gripping it and bringing to her lips. She spied the other girl look back away from her, not staring at her as she attempted to drink. Dry, cracked lips touched the item as she poured the water into her mouth. It tasted like the best thing she had ever drank in her entire life! The water renewed some sort of energy she didn’t know she had, as she gulped down more and more of the fluid, until the skin was quickly empty; she panted as she removed the skin from her lips, drops running down her mouth in her haste to drink. She wiped at her chin as she licked her moisture-starved lips. A hand was out waiting for her to hand back the now empty item… the girl followed the unspoken command. 

“I’m Byleth.” The prisoner blinked at the other girl, she was looking away, but, as she spoke, her gaze came back to her. There was no apparent friendliness there… or… much of anything. But, she didn’t feel threatened, and that, right now… was enough. 

“E-...Edelgard.” She spoke her own name. Her own voice sounded so rough and hoarse in her own ears. Once more, that slight peek of a smile at the corner of Byleth’s lips. Was that her way of trying to smile? Maybe it was. Maybe that was Byleth being friendly; she didn’t remember anyone ever acting like that before. Not any other adult… no one from the darkness, nor anyone before. They all wore such ugly smiles, or faces too full of emotion, their words and expressions unmatching; she didn’t understand, she thought that maybe one day, she would understand all of it. But right now, that small smile seemed to make right now… okay. Maybe it would be okay. She didn’t know if she could handle anyone else: the larger man was too loud, and he seemed distressed at what he saw, but Byleth, she could definitely deal with. 

“Here…” Another rustle, Byleth brought onto her lap a small parcel, she opened it up to reveal some slices of bread and cheese. Byleth raised up the package so it was closer to Edelgard now, offering the food to her. Edelgard stared down at the food, she was so hungry. Her stomach hurt with how much she needed food, not the sludge that was force-fed her every other day. She couldn’t eat that anymore; this looked more like the food she ate before the darkness. Was it really okay?

At her hesitation, Byleth took the food back and picked up a slice of bread and cheese, ripping off a portion each and popping it into her mouth, before offering it again. Why was she doing that? 

But, that convinced the white-haired girl that this food was okay; she reached a dirty hand over, and picked up a slice of bread and cheese, bringing it back to her, sniffing them as once more, Byleth left her to figure it out, without watching her or saying anything. Edelgard wasn’t used to such autonomy. She kept a watch of Byleth out of the corner of her eye, even as she took a bite of each… before realising how amazing simple cheese and bread tasted! Abandoning her watch of the other girl, she wolfed down the food; just as she had finished, the package was held in front of her once more. 

Edelgard glanced to Byleth, but the older girl wasn’t even looking at her; she was simply resting against the side of the cart, her eyes were closed. How could she do that? Why was she doing that? But, Edelgard still reached out and picked up another slice… then, with one more look to Byleth, wondering if it was okay, she picked up the entire contents of the parcel. Three more slices of bread and cheese just for her, even the ones Byleth had taken pieces from; she didn’t mind that. 

Edelgard couldn’t help it: she bit into the food as if someone was going to take it away from her… yet… all Byleth did was take the wrapping back and sit there. She made no movement or action to take it away from her… this truly was her food? At that, Edelgard managed to slow down her starving motions, to bite into the food and savour the taste of real food, for the first time in so long. 

* * *

Jeralt sighed as he now sat alone atop his horse, his daughter Byleth was watching the kid in the cart. He hadn’t said a word to the others, as he had packed the two kids into the back of the cart and mounted his warhorse, simply told them to hurry up and move; they managed to get out of the village with only a few stares and looks. No one was coming after them, and the way was clear. Their pace was quick, but not hurried; he wanted distance from that stomach-churning place, but he didn’t want to seem suspicious. He made a mental note to inform the Emperor just what they had found down there. Was the Emperor even aware? Maybe… which he found worse than thinking he didn’t. No, he could not think about what the Emperor did and didn’t know; he wasn’t likely to get an answer, and all it would do would drive him mad with anger at such a so-called father. He didn’t care how much was in his way, or how much his hands were tired. Jeralt would never, ever let such a thing happen to Byleth. Not while he drew breath, the heavens help anyone who dared. 

This wasn’t helping his mood at all. 

He felt positively sick to his stomach, what he saw back there… no one should have to see that. That was… he couldn’t think of a word, he just wanted to get off his horse, kneel down, and retch his guts up. But, he swallowed all of his grief and pain and horror: he had to stay strong, he was the leader of the Blade Breakers, after all. But goddess, every time he closed his eyes, he saw the bodies. 

How had that little girl managed to survive that? He wasn’t even sure she had; she seemed so withdrawn and distant, closed off; he couldn’t even go near her without her looking up at him in such fear and shrinking away. That’s what she did when he had tried to help her into the cart, so he had stood back and let his daughter pull her up. She was keeping her company now, but he hadn’t missed that she seemed to be keeping calm around his daughter… or maybe ‘calm’ wasn’t the right word. She was compliant, at least; at the moment, that’s all he needed. 

He saw the looks on his men’s faces: seeing the girl, then looking at him. They could see something was very wrong, he knew that they wanted to ask where the others were. What had happened, what he had seen to rile the great Blade Breaker so. But, he didn’t want to talk about it right now. 

Closing his eyes and seeing them staring back at him was enough for him; he didn’t want to talk about it. What kind of monsters torture and kill children like that?! He had seen some pretty dark and horrific things in his time; sure, part of the job: it hardens a person. But that? That was sick. It was depraved, and the result of a beast in human form… no, a beast would never do that. Pure evil, that was what it was. Jeralt had never believed in evil before; he scoffed at it: there were no evil sides to a battle, just viewpoints and survival; even bandits often had their reasons. But that? There was no possible logic to explain that; if such a realm as pure evil existed, he saw it today. 

He wasn’t innocent himself: far from it; he was sure children’s deaths had been on him plenty of times. If it really came down to it between him and a child? A matter of survival? Well… he hoped it never came down to it. He was certainly no saint; all mercenaries had done something they weren’t proud of. But there was survival, there was fighting a war, there was an enemy using a child as a soldier against you. And then, there was that…

There was no survival there, there was no war in that room. 

That was beyond abhorrent; he felt damaged himself, never mind that poor girl, staring up at him with blank empty eyes. Different from Byleth. He saw that his daughter was whole, quite well, and healthy of mind, she just had trouble expressing emotions. Like something was blocking them or they just didn’t work like that? She had been like that since she was born… he still hoped that maybe there was something to help her. 

But, there was Byleth… and there was this broken girl. She was someone who looked full of life once, a warmth to her that spread to a smile, a laugh, he could imagine it. But now? 

She looked positively broken. Shattered, like a mirror, broken into pieces, now decorating the floor of her own mind.

He shook his head before he stared at the route ahead; they were making good time. From where he sat, he turned and looked back behind them. No one else was on the road. He glanced around at the meadows and forests in the distance: a couple of travellers passing them at a crossroad, the sun shone high in the sky, greeting them on this bright day. It all felt so wrong: to be out here in the warmth, when he had seen what was in the darkness today.

He had to stop thinking about that, it would do him no good to think about it or talk about it. He just needed to concentrate on what his task was: get to the other village, stay at the inn, station a watch, in case someone came sniffing around, see to the kid; goddess knew what shape she was in. Just a cursory glance at her and he saw her covered in wounds, her hands and bare feet were beyond filthy, they looked black, her hair… oh, her hair… the Emperor’s children were described as having various shades of brown hair, deep chocolate brown to light almond. But, she bore no such colour, he didn’t need to try and ascertain if she was truly one of them, however, as Jeralt saw some of the other dead kids with hair of exactly the same colour; whatever those monsters had done to them, it had left a permanent mark. Jeralt swallowed thickly; bastards.

He hoped to get a healer to see to her, see if they could help her with her wounds, and try to examine her. That would be the final step before rest. In the morning, they would be on their way: back down into Alliance territory, where it was warmer and jobs aplenty between the squabbling nobles. The group, as noted in the letter, would look after the kid until the Emperor’s next contact. 

With that, Jeralt could settle his heart somewhat; he had a plan of action; now, to follow through with it, and put this business behind them.

* * *

It had been a while since Byleth had dropped down beside her; it was starting to get darker outside now, how long had it been? Where were they going? Byleth said nothing more now, it was odd. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable, it just… was. 

Edelgard tried not to stare, but she found with little else to look at, she couldn’t help it. She started to feel fascinated by this blank girl here. Looking at her form, she must only be a few years older than her, at most; she was tall but lithe with some childlike features; her clothes seemed plain, but she couldn’t place where they would fit in. Like she thought before, she couldn’t have been a villager, but she didn’t seem like a soldier, or a guard, or a mage. She was far too young… wasn’t she? But right now, it didn’t really matter who she was; if it was just her and Byleth, she felt… nothing. She wasn’t feeling her fear, or her dread, or her pain; her heart wasn’t racing, nor did she want to just close her eyes and wait for it to be over. There was nothing: like she was frozen in time. For now, this was exactly what she wanted; she didn’t want to deal with anything more right now. She couldn’t… didn’t know how. 

The scenery out of the back started to shift and change, as the brightness started to drip away, as evening fully set in with the clouds overhead. The fields and expanse of the empty road began to morph into more people, fences and stone walls, cattle and farmers. Where were they? Buildings started to come into view now, the ride of the cart began to grow worse as they travelled over more heavily used dirt roads. It looks like the place they had left before. Another village? This was clearly a different one from before. 

Noises from outside filtered in through the cart: shouting and laughter, men, women, and children going about their daily lives. Music sounded out over the din of the populace. It sounded so happy and… cheery. Edelgard didn’t know what to make of it. It reminded her of gatherings from the palace: grand events where nobles met with her father; they were never fun, except when her little brothers sneaked a smile at each other and went to steal as much food as they could carry from the food laid out…

She whimpered as pangs of memories hurt her, as the fond memories of her siblings, her sisters… her brothers… she saw them again… she saw them all whimpering… crying. Hurting… all of them fading away in the darkness...

She saw them chained up, their faces bloodied, their skin flayed from them, wounds seeping infected pus, vomit dribbling from their mouths... 

“Edelgard…?” A voice broke through her thoughts. 

But, it didn’t matter: her siblings were gone! Gone! Why was she still here?! It wasn’t fair! All she saw were their happy eyes as they morphed, corrupted, decayed into the glassy eyes of the dead. A hand was on her shoulder now.   
“Get off me! Leave me alone!” She screamed. She didn’t want them to hurt her anymore! 

She managed to focus on the here and now; she wasn’t in the darkness anymore, instead of the light of the one who pulled at her and grabbed her by the hair to drag her off… she saw eyes of blue, of calm, staring right back at her. The hand now removed from her shoulder, but her gaze hadn’t broken. Byleth didn’t say anything, as if everything could be described by her eyes alone. Edelgard stared right back now; she had flinched away from her as if she were her captor. Her body leaned away, but now… she only had to look into those eyes. Those deep, azure blue eyes… to see the sky again. 

She wasn’t down there… the thought washed over her soul… as if she was trying to rinse away the stains that clung to her skin; stains that corrupted her very being. She tried to drown out the noise around her, she didn’t want to be reminded of such things. It was so… painful.

Edelgard didn’t say anything more as she looked down; she felt so… tired. 

The hand of Byleth once more slowly lowered onto her shoulder, as if showing that she wasn’t afraid of her. Edelgard found that… she wanted the touch. This wasn’t someone who was going to drag her away and hurt her… she wasn’t sure about the rest of them… but, Byleth didn’t seem to be like that. She didn’t know if she was just being stupid, but she desperately wanted to believe that. Her heart hurt so much… she just needed someone to be here. It hurt… her heart felt like it was twisting in place, suffocating in her chest. 

“You alright in there, kid?” The voice of the taller male sounded out from the back of the cart. But, Edelgard didn’t look up; she didn’t want to see him. She wanted to just stay here in the cart. She didn’t want to be taken anywhere else. “Okay, well, c’mon; we need to get inside. I need to see about getting her a healer.” At that, the male left, his voice seemed gruffer now, and no longer distressed, as she first heard him. But, she could still hear his voice from back when he had first entered the cell; it only made her thoughts drift back there. His voice as he saw her siblings… his distress. She knew what he was seeing… she saw them again now. She just couldn’t stop thinking about it; every time, she tried to swallow it back down, to ignore it. The pool of corruption rose up, the waters ice-cold as they touched her bare skin. 

She started to shake now; she closed in on herself, as she pulled her knees towards herself, to make herself as small as possible. Tears budded at the corner of her eyes; she felt like she was back there: his voice, the memories, the darkness; it was so overwhelming, like a great wave of sticky, cloying blackness fell over her, the stench infecting her, the feelings of weakness, of being trapped; they ripped through her, opened up her skin, pulled at her guts, wrenched at her heart. 

She trembled as she felt a powerful burst of panic settle inside of her. 

That burst ran over her form, it was all too much… like her mind had finally caught up with her body: it was jarring, her mind was pulling her back to that cell, to the darkness, and the last place she had ever seen her siblings alive; each of them once so full of life, she had to watch… and hear, every single one of them have that life snuffed out. She felt sick… she couldn’t see, as the tears welled up in her eyes. She just wanted to scream… but the sound was stuck in her throat. She couldn’t control it. 

A hard slap against the wood of the cart. Edelgard jumped, as the pit of panic threatened to swallow her up and drown her. “Kid, what are you waiting for? C’mon!” The voice of the male… irritation lining his words. 

“Wait.” 

At that, Byleth’s hand moved from her shoulder and settled around her form, the older girl’s body closer to her now. Just… holding her close. What was happening? Byleth made no move to move her, or force her… or do much of anything. She had spoken one word to the older male. Was Byleth the one in charge? No… that was stupid. Stupid idea. But the male’s voice left… she could hear his grumbling, could still hear the music… but, she felt she had an anchor for herself in the raging storm of her thoughts, against the beast of panic that was swallowing her whole.

Who was she? 

But right now, she was so overwhelmed that she didn’t care… she started to cry. Tears leaked down her face as she moved against the girl, to grip into her clothes hard. Please, just let her do this. She couldn’t think anymore… she saw the faces of her brothers and sisters, how her older sister used to hold her when she was crying. She needed her… but she could never have her again. Right now, she had… Byleth. 

Byleth held onto her shaking and bawling form. Right now, the world outside the cart didn’t exist; Byleth was the only person in the whole world. She held onto her for dear life; she started to cry louder, but that didn’t make Byleth flinch away, nothing seemed to. She only held her closer, hugging her, and simply… waiting. 

She hoped to the goddess that maybe… just maybe… this was finally the answer to her prayers. She had prayed for so long, thought that the goddess had abandoned her. Maybe she still had… she didn’t know anymore. All she knew was that she needed to hold onto someone. Please…

Her knuckles lost their colour to utter white as she gripped hard onto Byleth’s clothes, as if the other girl might suddenly pull away. But, once again, Byleth never moved, nor said a word. She simply wrapped her arms around Edelgard. 

Maybe… this was okay… she was safe. But, with that small bubble of safety, all of her barriers cracked, and all of her emotions that had been locked inside burst over; she couldn’t hold it in right now. She just needed to cry; she had to, she didn’t know what to do. She screamed out for her siblings, for herself, for her father. She hated them! Why did they do it?! Why?! What did she do wrong?! Tears fell from her eyes like a waterfall as she trembled and shook, her emotions finally overwhelming her. Her face was in a terrible state: her nose was a sodden mess too, her breathing was hitched, as even spittle started to fall from her mouth as she still whimpered and cried out loud. 

She didn’t have to hold on right this second, if she didn’t have to… then her mind didn’t try, didn’t think it had to right now. 

She didn’t know how long she was there in Byleth’s arms… but, the darkness outside had grown, the music blared louder. The noise of the crowds joined them. 

Edelgard’s pain-filled sobs finally started to dissipate. She hiccuped and sniffed as she moved back, aware of the wet patch she had left all over Byleth’s sleeve. She looked down… ashamed she had made such a display of herself. Locking her panic back in its place, her emotions back to where they belonged… she could hold them in once more. As if the tide in her heart that had finally come in… left just as quickly. She was a mess… but she really didn’t care. 

“Okay… let’s get inside.” 

Byleth had said matter-of-factly as she moved her arms away from the sniffling girl. Just who was Byleth? What was she doing? She didn’t understand… she hoped against hope that maybe… just maybe… she was truly safe around her. Was it too much to hope for that? But she didn’t act like her older sister… or any of the palace servants, or her family. She couldn’t place her. She recoiled at the idea of being away from her rock in the storm of her mind right now… she didn’t know what else to do… so she started to mentally cling to the one thing she could. Her hand following that clinging right after, as once Byleth began to move, Edelgard reached out and grabbed ahold of Byleth’s shirt, holding onto the edge so tight. 

“I’m not going to leave you… follow me.” Byleth must have sensed why Edelgard did that. Slowly, gently, Byleth started to edge toward the back of the cart, with Edelgard in tow... 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed! Had some time for El and Byleth this chapter. 
> 
> My work is picking up again this week but I should still be able to get another chapter out sometime this week! Long as I don't get distracted by another one shot as I sometimes do :P. 
> 
> Catch you guys later!


	4. Lifeline

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cor the writer's block was real for this one. But I got through it. Hope you enjoy!

“Is everything ready?” The gruff male voice spoke to someone else: someone else next to him and looking up to him, body language showing deference to the older greying male from before. Maybe he was the leader? But then what did that make Byleth? The older male was dressed in steel armour and cloth. Much like all of the people she had seen today, they didn’t seem to wear a uniform, but they all seemed to match in a way, like a group. For now, she felt she had some mental capacity to ask herself again: who were these people? She doubted she would get any answers right now. So, for now, Edelgard simply held onto the shirt of Byleth next to her. The girl ahead of her had jumped off the back of the cart and thudded onto the dirt road underneath, kicking up small grits of earth and dust from her boots.

The music and laughter blared out all around her, but it was all a little too much to take in. Everything was so overwhelming; she couldn’t help but keep her eyes down, allowing her hair to cover her features, trying to hide. She was already struggling so much right now; she felt overloaded. The sights and sounds didn’t seem to go in; instead, it was all a blur around her. Byleth reached around to help the white-haired younger girl off the cart now, out into this new village. Her shirt twisted as Edelgard didn’t let go of the material, no matter which way Byleth turned or moved, something inside of her clung to her now. Her fingers tightened into a shaking death-like grip, as if something or someone could suddenly rip this person away from her. And, she could not… desperately didn’t want that. 

She dropped onto the earth beside the taller girl now, Byleth looked down at her… Edelgard could almost swear that she saw… warmth in her eyes. Yet, it was gone just as quickly. Did she imagine that? Maybe it was a trick of the firelight that danced around them. 

“Yes sir. We ordered as many rooms as we could. But...um…” The other’s voice wavered and shuddered. Edelgard looked away from Byleth and to the speaker: the speaker was a young female, eyes glancing over at the young filth covered girl in pity. Don’t do that. Edelgard didn’t want to see that. She didn’t want pity, she didn’t want to see that… her nose wrinkled as her bottom lip quavered. Pity was something she couldn’t deal with seeing; it made her think she was nothing but weak, nothing but a girl that needed protecting, someone helpless; it made her think of being back there, being there in that room again. It made her think too much. Stop it. 

Edelgard couldn’t hold the look, and stepped behind Byleth, putting the older girl between them. She didn’t want them to look at her; she didn’t need, or want, their pity. It was too painful. It was all too much. 

She felt Byleth stiffen next to her as she twisted the shirt once more that the older girl was wearing around her back; she didn’t let go, not once, and now it was pulled tight around Byleth’s midsection. But the blue-haired girl didn’t make a single noise of complaint, so Edelgard did not let go. Right at this moment… she needed her here.

“...right.” The older, harsh male answered the female. “Well… we’ll only need one of the extras. The rest of you split them up between us. Any spares, try and get a refund, if you can…” A pause and a shuffle of armour. “...we’ll need someone to watch the kid. Give Byleth a break.” 

What was that?! They were wanting to take Byleth away from her?! No!

She felt like a small child once more, curling up beside her older sister, twisting her fingers into the material of her dress. She didn’t want her to go anywhere. But… her sister had gone. Her sister’s body was left down in that pit, that room they all died in. She remembered the soothing words of her older sister as Edelgard cried in her chains. She remembered them so clearly, the weakness in her words as she coughed and spat liquid to the floor. The soft gentle voice that had so soothed her in the past, struggling to help her now. Listening to the desperation, to try and help Edelgard once more… and being unable to. This was not her sister here...but… Edelgard felt such a massive void that her siblings had once filled, it was engulfing her, swallowing her whole. Tears welled up once more, her tears never ended. They leaked down her face as she hid behind Byleth. She wasn’t her sister… but, right now, she was the only one stopping her from drowning in the void.

Edelgard’s fingers only curled all the more tighter on the cloth in her hands. Please don’t do that… please… she didn’t have the voice to say anything; she knew no matter how much she held on that Byleth could easily be taken away from her. She had been told she wasn’t supposed to have attachments: she didn’t need them, she shouldn’t make them. Back in the palace, she had been told to hold a distance above the common people, she was not like them, and they would never truly understand each other… she hated that lesson. But, that was nothing compared to what they had tried to instil in her in the darkness. To hold no attachments whatsoever. That everyone and everything was a tool; even she. To use everything and everyone to further her own goal; if she didn’t, the world would swallow her up and destroy her. 

Why? Why did it have to be like that? 

Why couldn’t she just have someone… just someone… here with her. Right at this moment, that someone to her was Byleth. She wanted Byleth to stay with her. Why was that bad? It wasn’t bad… 

Maybe it was; after all, they were already trying to take Byleth away from her. She was going to be ripped from her, and Edelgard was going to be alone again. 

She felt movement from the girl she was desperately holding close; her muscles screamed at her she was holding so tightly, her fingers and arms shaking from her effort. She knew that Byleth was looking back down at her… but, she didn’t want to see her face. Just in case she saw something she didn’t want to see. What was going through Byleth’s head? Did she want to be rid of her? Was she nothing but a nuisance? She didn’t know what to think; too many thoughts of her past life in the palace, with her siblings, in the darkness, she didn’t know what she really thought and just what they had attempted to drill into her. She couldn’t tell the difference right now.

“Dad, I’m fine.” The girl she was desperately holding onto spoke to the older male. Dad? The guy was…her father? That made her fingers loosen. Who were these people? That was her initial thought… a second one quickly followed. Byleth was saying that it was ‘fine’? It...was? Why? Why…? Why… Edelgard ducked her head back down and leaned closer to the older girl. She didn’t understand at all, but, right at this very moment… she was so, so thankful. Right now, she needed Byleth to simply… be there. She could keep her head above the waters of the gaping void inside her right now, as long as she had something to hold onto.   
“You sure?” He asked of her. Edelgard peeked up at Byleth from under her messy strands of hair. She watched her nod, the long hair bobbed as her head moved. 

That seemed to make her father huff… then sigh. She couldn’t see his body language from her hiding place, but she could hear him just fine.   
“Fine… but if you need someone else to watch the kid, just tell me.” His voice softened now, acquiescing to what Byleth had said. Irritation and sharpness held an undercurrent in his tone… but, it didn’t seem to be aimed at Byleth.   
“Edelgard.” Byleth quickly responded. “That’s her name.”   
“Right… Well, you get Edelgard settled, and I’m going to find a healer for her.” 

At that, she listened to the shuffle of clothes and footsteps as the older male moved away and was lost in the crowds and the music. Edelgard was starting to think that maybe he wasn’t a threat… but… that didn’t stop her heart rate from spiking and sickness to lurch in her stomach when he was near. It was the memory of his distress at seeing her pit where she had been trapped. It was his irritation and gruffness, his impatience, he didn’t sound okay at all. And that was only making her feel worse. He couldn’t look at her, she didn’t want him to either. Now, there was another layer: he was Byleth’s father. Where was her own dad? What was he doing? Why wasn’t he here? 

All this time, she never let go of the clothes of Byleth, holding her close to her like a lifeline. The music was all around her, the sounds and smells of the village wafted around her. But, not through her, not into her little mental bubble. A fragile bubble that threatened to pop at any time, to let her own heavy emotions wash her away once more. The bubble of just her and now… Byleth. She felt that if she let go, that bubble would break, and she didn’t know if she could handle anything else right now. She felt right on the edge of her mental void... 

Byleth turned her head back to her now, the flames of merry light flitted and danced over her face and eyes.   
“C’mon… let's head in.” 

* * *

He wasn’t trying to be so harsh and dismissive. He honestly didn’t mean to. But, every time he spoke he just couldn’t help how he was coming across. He knew he was being curt; this was just a… difficult job, that’s all. He felt awful leaving the rest of the bodies there; they would never get buried properly, never have a proper funeral for them. It was cruel, but the priority was getting the survivor out alive. He also had to think about his daughter. Before anyone else, his priority was Byleth. He had to make sure she was okay. What would Sitri think if he failed in that one duty? But, of course, what would his Sitri say to him now, if she learned of how much he was struggling and worse, avoiding and being curt with a child. A child who had done nothing wrong, nothing that could have ever deserved that. The music around him only annoyed him more; normally, he would have joined in whatever they were celebrating, given his band the night off, headed to the tavern and racked up another too large bar tab. 

But, not right now; even as he wanted nothing more than to drown himself in drink, that would not help. He knew it wouldn’t. He had to find a healer; surely, they had to have one on call somewhere. Every village did in some way or another, sometimes just someone who had trained in the faith arts, or a priest of the faith. He hoped it wasn’t the latter, but he wasn’t in a position to be picky. 

He felt so bad for the kid… also, he felt bad for Byleth. How was she able to be a support for her? The way this… Edelgard clung to her. How was she doing it? He had always thought her emotional emptiness was a hindrance, so how was she able to give any comfort? He shook his head, mentally apologising to his daughter, Byleth was always surprising him, he clearly was selling her short… again. He shouldn’t assume, something was there that was helping, he just didn’t want to put so much on her. He didn’t want Byleth to have to take on such a burden. It wasn’t fair on his kid. But then… life never had been fair. 

His eyes still scanned the various buildings and people around him. Where was this healer? He was starting to feel a heavy ball of irritation drop onto his chest, a ball that had been growing throughout the day. The music and joy of the villagers around him filled his senses, he idly wondered what they were celebrating. Probably some religious holiday, not that he paid attention anymore: he used to. Once upon a time, he used to speak in hushed tones with his dear Sitri; she always knew what holidays and events were coming up, and what she was doing for them, asking Jeralt to be there with her. Now? He didn’t know, nor care to find out. It had nothing to do with him anymore: why should he care? 

Finally, up ahead, he spotted a small church: that must be where the healers are. He inwardly scowled; he wasn’t a fan of the more religiously inclined healers, but, it didn’t matter at the end of the day. They both did their job. 

Moving through and around crowds of milling people, he made his way to the lit-up building, the marks of Seiros hard to miss, as he swallowed a lump in his throat. 

* * *

Edelgard was glad to be alone once more, moving through the village and the inn was too much. She didn’t want people to look at her and stare at her. But, they did, they did stare; she saw those faces, even as she tried to stay as close as possible to Byleth, refusing to let go of her shirt as she entered the inn. Receiving the key from another person, they moved up the stairs and entered the room. She didn’t miss the hushed silence, the looks, the stares, the pity… stop staring. It made her cling tighter to Byleth. She didn’t want anyone else to exist in her world right now. It was all too much, and it made her feel so small and on edge, her mind wrestling to hold back her emotions, lest she break. Forcing her legs forward before she bolted, she felt on such a high alert, that it was making her feel sick. She just wanted to get away and hide, she didn’t know how to be now outside of that hole. But, right now, she didn’t want to think about tomorrow, or the day after, or the future; she was just trying to focus on right now. 

And right now, she clung hard to Byleth. Like a lifeline.

They were alone together now… she could breathe… she let out the air she hadn’t realised she had been holding in. That was all so much to process, and she couldn't process much of anything right now. 

She felt so raw, and yet, bottled up; she felt like she just wanted to hide and cry, yet she didn’t know if she could give any more. 

She felt stuck, broken, empty… yet, so full. She was so confused.

Byleth didn’t speak to her as she gently guided her to a bed, their eyes connecting as they stood near the frame. Her head cocked to the side once again, as Edelgard simply refused to unlock her fingers from around Byleth’s shirt. Her face was impassive as ever but her brow was raised ever so slightly in question. What was she questioning? 

“It’s okay…” She spoke to her… so softly. Yet, there was no hint of pity or sadness… just those two words. Perhaps it would be odd to someone else, but Edelgard needed that lack of emotion, bearing the strain of someone else’s stares of horror, sadness, or pity. It only made her shrink inwardly, but Byleth seemed to hold none of that. Once again, it made Edelgard think that something must be wrong with her: did they do something to her? Were they both suffering? Maybe… maybe not. 

She couldn’t think right now. 

But, in an odd way… she was comforted by that lack of emotion. She needed it… right now… she needed Byleth. She was not her sister, whispering sweet words to her, nor her brother, attempting to cheer her up when she was sad; she was not her father who smiled at her, nor a servant who patted her back and said it was okay to cry. She wasn’t any of those things, but Edelgard needed her. She was filling the void in her heart right now, both threatening to tear down those weak barriers holding the tide of her emotions, and yet, holding them up. It was painful, yet not overwhelming. 

Still, Edelgard did not let go. Somewhere, her mind told her she was being childish not letting go, but she still couldn’t make herself unhook her fingers. 

Byleth’s eyes dropped to where Edelgard gripped her in a death-like hold. A small, confused look passing over her eyes for a second… all these emotions Edelgard knew she would be missing if she was not staring intently at her features. It was all so quick and subtle… muted. But, it was there. 

Suddenly, Byleth began to unstrap the leather pauldron to let it fall to the floor with a small thud, she untied her gauntlets too and unhooked them from her forearms; what was she doing? The leather armour now off her form, she tugged at her top shirt, pulling it over her head and away from her body, a lighter, thinner vest still covering her form. Her hair was slightly messy now from moving the cloth over, strands sticking up here and there and over her eyes. 

She turned back to the smaller girl now, and gave the shirt to Edelgard. The white-haired girl could only stare down in her own confusion; what just happened…? Instead of asking her to let go, Byleth had just taken off the whole shirt and given it to her. She found her other arm quickly moving to hold the shirt fully in her hands, holding the bundle of still warm cloth close, as she could only watch Byleth move away from her now, now free from her grasp. 

The older girl idly brushed her tousled hair away from her face and dropped onto a bed opposite hers. 

The inn room was a small but homely affair: simple, inelegant beds with blankets against two opposite walls, a small wooden table and a chair against another wall, underneath a quaint window, which, in the day, would allow the light to billow in and fill the room. Right now, it was dark, the only light was from a single lamp that burned with a small candle inside the glass case, casting light out to fill the small inn room, creating flickering shadows along the far wall. 

With shaky legs, Edelgard slowly lowered herself and sat down on the soft bed, still holding onto the shirt of the other girl in her grasp. She just didn’t know what to do with herself now, so holding onto the shirt gave her hands something to do. 

Without another word, Byleth, opposite her, lay back onto the bed, relaxing onto the mattress and blankets. She didn’t look at her, stare at her, or even speak to her. It stopped Edelgard from panicking, but, once again, it didn’t feel like it was gone, simply… held at bay, paused. 

* * *

“Look at the state of this mess.” A voice grumbled out into the darkness. “I don’t know how it’s possible, but it stinks even worse than last time.” A male voice, not young, but not old, irritated. She rolled her eyes at him.   
“That’s just your imagination. This place stinks of the lab rats that inhabit it.” 

A pair of figures stepped down the metallic corridor, deeper into the underground lab hidden underneath the village up above. A mage light was held aloft in the hands of the male. Illuminating the cold eerie dungeon before them, their eyes scanned down the narrow walkway. 

“Looks like we won’t get any info from these two.” She nudged a body of a mage with her foot, the still form she prodded was dressed in the dark robes of their kind, now bloodstained with an obvious pool of crimson which had run over the metal surface of the floor. A shuffling of material next to her, the light moved down as he crouched over them, examining them in more detail. He clicked his tongue as he stared, she made no move to look any closer; this place was already doing a number on her stomach, she didn’t fancy getting any closer to these bodies then she had to. 

“Hmm… think something sharp got them. Probably a sword or a lance. I’d guess a sword.” he mused, uncaring about their dead compatriots, not that she did either. Useless torturers, that’s all they were to her. They made her skin crawl the last time she was here, so them being dead before her did nothing to draw out any sympathy from her. She only sighed, exasperated; even dead, they were creating problems for her. 

“Great... we better see what’s missing before we tell Solon. That weirdo is gonna love this.” That garnered a laugh from the other. Another shuffle and move of the light as he stood up.  
“You shouldn’t speak about him like that.” She snorted at his comment and stepped over the two bodies, uncaring about their dead forms.   
“Who the fuck is gonna tell him? You?” It was no secret that she held little affection for Solon, but she never actually said anything to his face; he was still technically her superior. “Hurry up, I can’t see a damn thing up here.” The male hurried over the bodies and to her side, shining the bright light over the pair and down the hall. 

“We’ll need to make sure Argus is telling the truth,” She moved to stretch her arms over her head, letting her muscles pull as her boots clinked down the hallway. “...can’t have him exaggerating just to save his own useless hide.” She was talking about the guard they had stationed up top: he was supposed to be watching the place. Yet, they had found him unconscious in the room; she thought he was nothing more than a useless, bumbling idiot. He was babbling about some warrior who had knocked him out. Careless. But, at least he was actually alive, they could get a description and question the villagers. See what they could find out. 

They walked through the disgusting lab: she always did hate it here, it put her in a bad mood. She felt like she couldn’t get the stench out of her clothes and skin fast enough. She hoped nothing important was gone… but, she was not that lucky. 

So far… nothing seemed to be gone. Odd… nothing material anyway, this didn’t seem like a robbery or idle fascination; maybe the guard was telling the truth, maybe this was a job. 

“Acantha… Here…” Her companion spoke out to her, she pulled her head out of a nearby room holding testing equipment, the pale green light of their underground stations lit up her form, she moved away and closer to the mage light. He was at the open door to the cell of the lab rats, disgusting cattle that thought themselves to be human. She heard them whimpering once on a visit, crying in pain. What a joke. She just wanted them to shut up, the smell was giving her a headache at the time, and those animals were not making it any better. She didn’t understand what the point of this was anyway, not that she cared about their wellbeing; they were only animals after all. It just seemed like a waste of time and resources, better to just slit their throats and be done with it. 

But then, she wasn’t the one in charge. 

She moved to the light and stared inside, the bodies of ten of them were still there and chained up, rotting where they lay. Her stomach flipped, the smell was worse here; gods, why did they have to leave it like this? Lazy. Clearly, they could not be bothered to move the bodies out. What was he looking at? Wait… her eyes focused now on the chains that dangled down, missing the animal that was once leashed to a wall. Oh, great… 

“We are missing one.” She said.   
“Yeah… now c’mon, I’m starting to bring up bile here.” She felt the same; they both turned and made their way back up the corridor, towards the fresher air of the house upstairs. She didn’t much like being around the stupid villagers either, but at least they didn’t smell like rot and shit. Well… maybe not as bad. Gods, she was dying for a shower right now, and to maybe burn these clothes; she always felt like this after inspecting this place, but at least there was a silver lining here: she wouldn’t have to do any more inspections. That made her smile as she stepped, uncaring, over the dead mages underneath her. 

* * *

A knock at the door alerted the smaller girl, and brought her out of her dream-like state. She had been simply staring at the floor while holding the still warm shirt of Byleth. The material was of small comfort to her as she sat on the bed, sitting there hunched over and tense, as if she was wound so tightly that at any moment, she might just bolt. Her head sprung up as her whole body flinched; she didn’t move off the bed, but… that was only because Byleth was here. Her eyes shot from the door to her. The older girl sat up from where she had been lying. Before standing and moving over to the door, she didn’t respond to the knock verbally, she simply opened the door a crack, and peered out of it. 

Edelgard couldn’t see who was there, but she heard the voice of that other male… no… Byleth’s father. Yes, that was it; definitely him. But, the voices were hushed, whispered; she couldn’t hear what was being exchanged. 

All of a sudden, Byleth pulled her head back to look at her. She was staring right at her… why was she doing that? Before her eyes swung back to the voice at the door: hesitation… nothing was exchanged for a second. Nothing happened, as Byleth seemed to hold a decision at bay for a moment. What was she even thinking about?

But, it didn’t seem to take her long, as she moved to open the door fully, the blue-haired girl stood now to the side, opening the entrance to Edelgard’s small space she was sharing with Byleth, allowing it to be invaded. She hunched over herself once more, and held tighter onto the other girl’s shirt like a life jacket, holding it to her face as her heart rate spiked. She didn’t know what was going to happen, as the fear of this unknown boiled inside of her chest. 

Inside quickly strode Byleth’s father, he didn’t look at her… instead, he focused on the task at hand: he was holding in one hand a large wooden tub; it made her think of the baths back at the palace. In the other was a small bundle of various clothes, similar to what Byleth was wearing. He still didn’t look at her, as he got to work and laid out the large tub on one side of the room. 

“Hey kid, help me with this.” He was speaking to Byleth, who moved across the room to him, her boots thudding along the wooden floor. But, the pair of them faded into the background now. They were not what she was looking at. They no longer drew her attention now… no, but something else did. Someone else entered the room and took up too much space in this small room. It was suffocating, she was starting to shake, holding the shirt so tightly to her, as if it might somehow help her. 

A new male followed Byleth’s father into the room: an older gent with a greying beard, slightly hunched and dressed in light robes of a faith order. She recognised the various symbols he bore, she knew them. They were symbols of Seiros, symbols of the goddess. She remembered kneeling down in front of them day after day, being told to pray to the goddess; if she was a good little girl, then she would hear her. But, the goddess never heard her in that darkness. She never answered her; instead, she had to watch her brothers and sisters die in that blackness. Over and over again, they all… left. 

She could only stare as tears budded at her eyes, as she watched the man come closer to her; he bore a soft smile on his face as he drew near, his eyes held pity for her. She didn’t want him to get any closer! Get away! The goddess had left her! She must have done something wrong, because the goddess didn’t help her! So what was he doing here now?!

She whimpered as she drew away from him. 

“What’s wrong? It’s okay, child, I’m going to help you.” He spoke out to her, but Edelgard didn’t want him anywhere near her! She didn’t want anyone to touch her! Not anymore… not again. She was shaking from her own sharp fear as it tugged and pulled at her, reminding her over and over again that she must have done something wrong; there was no way he was going to help her. All that time down there… she never had help, her siblings never had help. Did the goddess just abandon her? Leave them all there to die? She was the only one left now, and this man was here… was he going to hurt her?! 

“Don’t worry! Don’t panic! What is wrong with you?” He sounded confused, but she still didn’t want him anywhere near her… please… please just go away! She began to cry out now, she didn’t want him to touch her!

“Byleth?” Another voice joined the cacophony of noise and voices, too much. That was Byleth’s father speaking. It was overloading her again. She began to cry once again, those barriers cracking and shaking as she couldn’t get away: she was trapped in this room with all of these people, and this man was coming right for her. 

Suddenly, a body came between her and the new older man, blocking her view of him and his of her. Suddenly, the room vanished, the space that was too full and too much narrowed once again. That bubble re-appeared, the bubble of safety of just her and Byleth. The safety that exuded from the one person she felt… okay with. Byleth’s body stood just before her, blocking everything out. She was safe… it was okay… everything was okay. She was okay. Byleth wouldn’t let anything happen to her... why was she thinking this? She knew she shouldn’t, she didn’t know what would happen. But, she just needed her. Byleth stopped the panic from flooding her, held back the fear that threatened to drown her and stick to her, a support she could cling to. 

Byleth’s arms encircled her back, as Edelgard flung forward to silently cry into the older girl’s undershirt. 

“What is wrong with her?” She heard the robe-wearing male whisper, he probably wasn’t wanting her to hear him. But she did, it made her grip onto her guardian harder, and Byleth, in turn, held her closer. She felt the indigo move her head back to look at the intruder in this room. She didn’t say anything, but she heard the older male squeak out a small cry. “S-sorry! I’m only here to help. That’s all!” 

“Stop scaring him, Byleth…” Byleth’s father spoke up, even as he didn’t seem to move from his spot and whatever he was doing with the tub and clothes. “... let him look at her wounds and help her. The quicker you do, the quicker it’ll be over…” He spoke so matter of factly, it wasn’t an order like he seemed to sound with the others in his band. But, it did make Byleth loosen her grip on Edelgard. She didn’t like it… but, as long as Byleth was here… as long as this bubble was in place… she would be okay. She sniffed as she mentally prepared herself for whatever needed to happen...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do jump POV quite a bit on this chapter. Didn't realise quite how much as I wrote. 
> 
> Hope you still enjoyed it tho! Thx for reading.


	5. On the road again

It was a somber morning; quiet, far from relaxed, but this was okay. The hustle and bustle of the morning was finally over, the rushing and running around to get everything in and ready. The quick movement and shouts to each other were quite much this morning, but Edelgard found she was okay with it. It was fascinating to watch the band get up, get ready, check their gear, bundle things in their cart, get the horses ready. It was all a blur to her, but the movements were so quick and normal, practised. This was something that had been done hundreds of times before; it didn’t mean anything special to them. She saw it on their faces as they worked: even Byleth worked with them, throwing gear and equipment into one of the carts. Yet, the older girl seemed apart from the rest: she didn’t call out to the others nor moved to work with them; every movement seemed slower, she didn’t move far away from Edelgard, as she stood there by the inn door. Every time the younger girl’s eyes strayed to watch the others, they always came back to the older, self-appointed guardian, checking she was still nearby. It almost felt like they bore an invisible line between them, binding them, a line that could only stretch so far before it pulled at her and her emotions started to roil. 

Byleth didn’t act the same as the others, focusing completely on her task, her gaze instead glancing back to Edelgard every now and then. As if… just checking in; making sure her charge was okay. 

Now, the pair of them were seated on one of the carts as it trundled along, the whole company was moving. To where, Edelgard didn’t know. Not that it really mattered to her right now. As long as they weren’t taking her to anyone who would hurt her anymore… that was all that mattered. 

As long as she was with Byleth, she felt okay. That she wasn’t going to take her anywhere bad. 

A small voice was telling her that she shouldn’t put so much faith in this person she hardly knew, but… she just couldn’t help it. She had been drowning and reaching out in a panic for something, anything to hold onto. She had found Byleth… and she wasn’t going to let go. 

It was humid out here; late summer, the sun was high in the sky, casting its warm rays upon the band. It had rained this morning, the ground still wet from the water soaking it. So, the group had apparently set out later than they wanted to. Again, all of this wasn’t really her concern: she didn’t care where they went right now. As long as Byleth was here… she was safe. 

Two horses bore the cart they were sat on, the great beasts plodded along with little effort, the whole group was progressing at a slow, but steady, pace. Voices nearby chatted and laughed with each other, enjoying conversations that were too far away to hear. A grunt and a huff from a horse drew her attention for a second, the animal’s ear flitted as it travelled. The wheels from the cart made an odd squeak every now and then as they moved. It was not any sort of travel she had ever used before. Her memories were of a far more elegant and gaudy carriage, being inside looking out. Sitting on comfy cushions in her little dress, being fascinated by the world beyond the glass. A barrier of transparency was always in the way as she stared out, making her feel like she was never really a part of that world. 

Now she was, she felt like she was seeing it all for the first time: the sights of the fields, the smells of the road, the warmth of the sun. It was all so new and different, but actually kind of… good? 

Byleth was seated next to her on the cart, the wooden seat was something she was getting used to; it wasn’t cushioned, but it wasn’t a stone floor… so she was okay with this. Her blue-haired guardian held the long reins of the horses up ahead, and Edelgard once again found herself fascinated by the action. She had been on horses before, sure, but never sat on a cart; it wasn’t something that she would ever need to learn, apparently; it was deemed ‘unnecessary’. She simply sat and watched Byleth’s movements as she directed the horses, pulling the reins to help with direction, clicking her tongue to get them to move quicker. 

But, in between watching the scenery and Byleth, she also started to examine the clothes she was now wearing, they were too big for her, but not by too much. These were Byleth’s clothes… they made her actually tingle with happiness, to be dressed just like her. A dark undershirt hung very loosely and ended at her thighs instead of her waist. Same with the top: the thicker, more weather-resistant cloth swamped her, the cuffs were rolled up so they didn’t just hang over her hands. She didn’t wear any of the leather armour that the older girl did, but she did wear a belt to keep up her baggy trousers; a lot of the excess, dark, stiff material was tucked into a pair of too-large boots. She looked like a smaller version of Byleth, without the leather armour. Edelgard found a smile upon her lips at her new clothes and the image it created…

It was a new sensation; she couldn’t remember the last time she had smiled. Clothed in the look of her guardian, another layer of support. She allowed her hands to wander over the cloth covering her, feeling something akin to… a small warmth of comfort in this. It was so much better than what she had been forced to wear for so long in the darkness. 

That smile quickly vanished as she thought back: yesterday she had finally been purified somewhat. Finally… for so long, she had worn the clothes she had been taken in. A dress and jacket from the palace, she didn’t know how long she had been down there… but… her clothes had worn and ripped and been shredded away until all that was left was nothing more than a rag. A dirty rag covering her slight and thin form. She felt… disconnected from it now. Now that it was off her she felt… better. A little better. As if that rag was so heavy, dragging her down, dragging her back there. But, with it off and clean… it was better. Lighter, a weight pulled from her. 

Last night was hard, and she was very glad it was over… but, looking back, it was nothing compared to what they had done to her. So she could deal with it. 

_“I’m going to get some water for this bath; Byleth, let the man work.” Byleth’s father’s words came out like an order, but there was no bite there. No command; if anything, his face told a very different story. His eyes flashed toward the priest and back to his daughter, a grim scowl on his face. Edelgard was still seated on the bed, her eyes panning between the robed older male and Byleth’s father as he just left the room. She didn’t understand how he was feeling, she was too busy concentrating on not balking and running. The door was wide open… but a body seated itself on the bed next to hers now, the mattress underneath bouncing from the new weight. Her guardian’s hand found hers as her fingers intertwined around her own. Byleth’s hand was firm, hard, calloused from use, but right now, it was the softest, most gentle touch to her._

_Immediately, her gaze managed to break away from the male and to the older girl. Edelgard’s hand shook, even as her fingers clamped down, once again in a death-like grip onto Byleth. She wasn’t going to let go anytime soon. She didn’t understand why Byleth had done that, her shaking grip was making Byleth’s hand shake with it. But now that she did, she didn’t want to let go. Even as she stared at the blue-haired girl’s face, Byleth didn’t look back at her; instead, she was wholly focused on what the stranger was doing. Her face was so… impassive, she was just simply… staring at the man before them. Edelgard couldn’t help but think that Byleth was acting like her guard, like one of the guards from the palace. Yet, this seemed more personal? Intense? She didn’t know what it was, but she needed it, and was… very thankful. It was calming her, even with this new male before her._

_At that, she turned back to the priest in question; her shaking was starting to calm, and her demeanor was no longer one of overwhelming panic. Her legs stopped fidgeting, she didn’t feel like she was about to bolt at any second, right now… she felt grounded._

_The male before her was not in as good a place as she was, his eyes seemed to scan everywhere except on the two of them. His body language pulled inward, his fingers began to fiddle with the cuff of his robe. He seemed… nervous? He glanced back at the now open door, where Byleth’s father had vanished out of, before coming back to stare at the floor…_

_“R-right, well… I can see you have a lot of cuts and bruises here. If...y-you’ll just let me have a look…” Edelgard didn’t miss the tremor in his voice, nor the way his eyes quickly flew to both her own and then Byleth, the nervousness in him obvious._

_Heavy footsteps sounded out now, the burly form of the bearded male walked through the threshold, carrying two heavy buckets filled to the brim with water. The noise of him made all three of them pause as he sloshed one bucket in the tub, followed by another; then, without a word, he picked up the two wooden handles and made his way just as quickly back out, vanishing once more._

_Byleth gave her a little squeeze of her hand, just the one; Edelgard didn’t understand the movement, but she was just glad of the contact. With Byleth grounding her she would be okay. She still couldn’t quite release the tight hold of her hand however; even telling her muscles to loosen just wasn’t working, as if some small part of her was petrified Byleth would pull away. She watched as the robed male dipped closer to her, to examine the wounds on her legs in more detail, Edelgard had known just how bad it was, but having someone stare at them really brought home just how much she had been marred. Her once flawless skin of her childhood was gone… replaced by this. She saw them now… as if knowing and actually seeing them were two very different things. She saw how… disfigured they had made her. How marred she was. Recently closed wounds and gashes covered her legs, everywhere. From around her ankles, where ropes had been tied too tightly, to knives that had been plunged into her flesh, to needles as they jabbed into her… to missing skin that had been peeled back. She remembered all of it… all of the times she had been hurt by them. Every one flashed before her eyes. Tears budded in her eyes as she tightened her already death-like grip of Byleth next to her._

_The eyes moved up, over her hands, similar rope burns and damaged skin from being tied up. Similar slashes and marks, an open wound on her arm from just yesterday, dried blood encased it. Scabs adorned many of the wounds, some leaking pus from infections. Edelgard didn’t look at his face anymore… she couldn’t. She didn’t want to see what he was thinking. She could barely manage what she, herself, was thinking. She stared up at her protector instead, hardly blinking as Byleth turned to look back down at her. She didn’t move away from her protector, even as tears once more began to fall… even as Edelgard’s grip clasped Byleth’s own so tightly that it must be hurting, even as Edelgard unknowingly dug her nails into the older girl’s flesh. Through it all, Byleth was as blank as ever, keeping the smaller girl’s gaze with her own. Holding her in the storm of her thoughts, everything was okay. Byleth was here. It was okay._

_She felt the rag atop her move this way and that, as the priest mumbled words of what exactly he was doing and looking for; maybe she should feel violated, but she didn’t care. She had worse from her captors; she didn’t like it, but… as long as Byleth was here, it was okay._

_Suddenly, there was a sigh… the pair of them moved their gazes back to the priest. Then, Byleth’s father, once more, appeared with two more buckets of water, tipping the pails into the tub, filling it near the brim, as the water sloshed and swirled about. The priest seemed to be immediately grateful that the other male had shown up._

_“J-Jeralt?” He spoke as he stepped back from the two girls. The older male Edelgard now knew was called Jeralt, hummed in answer as he set about dropping a magical bath stone into the water: simple orbs to heat water that were cheap to make. The rock thudded to the bottom of the wood, as the stocky male stood up to his full height, towering over the smaller man. At that, the priest started to address the whole group._

_“Right… well… Miss, you have a lot of healed-over wounds; looks like sloppy magic, I might add. I’m sorry, but… I can’t do anything about that. They will scar. You have a wound on your arm that looks recent, so I can help with that one. You also have… wounds that look infected.” At this, he turned and spoke only to Byleth’s father… the one he addressed as Jeralt. “You’ll need anti-toxins and Vulneraries, I can supply them for an added fee, of course.” He smiled up at this Jeralt now. The older male’s eyes flashed darkly… with what, Edelgard still couldn’t tell. Jeralt placed his hands on his hips as his eyes travelled over the whole group, before settling back onto the robed man._

_“Finish up here and we’ll talk. Outside.” At the final word, the priest leaned over her wound and whispered something that Edelgard didn’t catch; his hands were raised as a familiar warmth softly tugged at her own damaged flesh. The skin quickly kneading and pulling back together, the time to heal sped up from days to a few seconds. The warmth she knew should be comforting and pleasant, a healing touch. But, it wasn’t. Far from it; it all threw her mind back to when her captors healed her: those slimy hands that touched her and pulled at her, shouting at her to stay still or they would break something more permanent. It didn’t comfort her at all…_

_As quickly as he had started, he soon pulled away; that warmth that did nothing to comfort her pulled away from her skin. Both men moved to exit the room._

_“Byleth you okay making sure our guest is clean?” A nod from Byleth was his answer. “Okay… I’ll be back later.” At that, the pair of them stepped out of the room…_

The squeak of the cart’s wheels drew her out of her memories. Byleth was once again seated next to her with the simple wooden cart trundling along, the smaller girl pulled her gaze up to the sky. She had been doing it more and more now that she was free; it was so calm and serene; the sky calmed her. Even when there were clouds or heavy rain, it was still so serene; a constant. Always there. She was starting to be unsure if Byleth was reminding her of the sky, or if the sky was reminding her of Byleth, as the pure blue only made her want to look back down her guardian. 

“Would you like to try?” A voice spoke at the side of her, she almost jumped at the noise. It was so rare for Byleth to speak, and she had not been expecting it at all. She had to blink and take a second to understand what she had just asked. Try? Try what? 

But Byleth was holding the reins out to her now. Her face and body posture weren’t expecting or demanding an answer… she actually couldn’t get a feel why Byleth was asking such a thing in the first place. But, she would be lying if she hadn’t thought about trying it. With a small smile to the other girl, Edelgard found herself reaching out, wanting to try something for herself, she knew that she could say ‘no’ or just hand them back at any time, and it would be okay. So why not? 

Yet, as she drew nearer, her eyes suddenly caught sight of the bandage around Byleth’s hand. She flinched. That was her doing. Byleth never said a word, never spoke of it, never said that it hurt. Edelgard had noticed it last night, once she had let go to get in the warm bath: blood dripping from Byleth’s hand. She still never said a word as she quickly washed it, the filth from Edelgard’s hand and nails were covering her own, and bandaged it up. 

She didn’t mean to hurt her… 

She had stared at the bandaged hand as she had been in the bath… hardly moving as she thought that she had hurt the one person protecting her. She didn’t mean to… didn’t mean to do that. She hadn’t meant to do that. That void in the back of her mind had begun to beckon her towards it: she had done something wrong, she must always be doing things wrong. Was she going to be punished again? She had started to retreat inwardly… Byleth must have noticed at the time, because she called out Edelgard’s name. 

The younger girl remembered how Byleth had raised her hand and flexed her fingers. 

_“Doesn’t hurt. I know you would never hurt me.”_

That was a weird sentence. Edelgard had wondered why she said that. Why would she suddenly put stock into a strange girl she knew for less than a day, and say that she knew she would never hurt her. It didn’t make sense, but maybe she hadn’t quite meant how she had said it. 

But either way, once more, this Byleth had a hold of her and pulled her away from that void. As if her hand reached under the waters that were trying to drown her and pulled her up and out, breathing in the air she so needed. 

Swallowing the guilt she felt for hurting Byleth, however mild it apparently was… she tried to ignore it and shakily reached for the reins. Even as she listened intently to the instructions Byleth was giving her on how to control the animals pulling the cart, she couldn’t help but think that Byleth was actually… trusting her. Why? Why was she doing all of this for her? What was she doing? What was she gaining from this? Nothing… absolutely nothing. And this was why Edelgard happily took the leather reins and adjusted her position, eagerly wanting to try her hand at leading the cart, even if it was to only follow the rest of the horses up ahead. One of them was this Jeralt. She could make out his lighter clothes and hair from the rest of the band. 

* * *

It was late morning before they finally set off; the pair of them had stayed overnight in the village. Acantha seethed at that, but orders were orders after all; after talking to a couple of the people still around late in the evening, it was clear that these people had certainly heard from others in the day that an odd mechant wagon had passed through here with guards, but they personally didn’t know anything more. Idiots. Too obsessed with their own sad, pathetic little lives to notice anything else going on. 

After bringing the great ugly one also known as Solon up to speed, he had, of course, blew up in agitation on the line. A technology that her race had created aided with magic to be able to talk to each other from far away. A marvel, really, that these animals could not hope to match. Acantha was glad she wasn’t on the call, her companion had to hold his face impassive as Solon raged on the other end. She, meanwhile, was free to laugh and titter at the stupid man. It was his fault that this happened anyway; she, herself, had recommended tighter security, in a way it would not be noticed. But no, apparently current security was enough, it needed to be subtle. Whatever. These pigs wouldn’t know extra security that appeared right under their nose; he was giving them too much credit. She was hoping to go home after this, have a nice hot shower, burn her clothes, and give this job to someone else. 

What she did not expect, however, were orders to stay overnight, gather intel, and track the enemies that stole their lab rat from them. Great…

So, here they were, herself and Lycus, the mage at her side. Lycus was younger than her; more patient, and held his temper and words. But, that didn’t mean he was better than her at all. He was just handy to have around for conversations she couldn’t be bothered having, such as the one with Solon. It also meant that sometimes he wouldn’t say what needed to be said; that was when she liked to pipe up and get across what she knew he wanted to say. That was just how their relationship worked; neither of them would ever admit it, but they complimented each other and she liked working with him, contrary to the words that often came out of her mouth. 

The pair of them had chatted to more villagers in the morning; this time, clad in their fieldwork clothes, a pair of travelling mercenaries for hire. Her field name was Amanda, and his was Luke. Close enough that they were easy to remember, but alien enough for her to balk at the use of the name. Whatever, it would be fine. The villagers of the morning were not the ones who were about yesterday, they had much more to say. 

_“Yes, I saw him… Such a handsome man he was.” Acantha inwardly grimaced as she planted a fake smile on her features._   
_“I’m sorry?” She laughed awkwardly. She was currently talking to a couple of older women, typical gossipy women who always know what’s going on. But, this was not what she wanted to deal with. They giggled together like a couple of teenage girls as they glanced at each other and back at her._   
_“Oh, it’s okay, love… we know why you would be asking about him. He is good-looking, after all. You can’t fool us.” One of the women winked at her._

_By the gods, what did she do to deserve this?_

_“I’ve heard about him, you know. Don’t know about the others; he must have been hired as a guard today. But, oh my…” At that, she wafted her hand near her face, as if she was flushed. “He does get me going… What I wouldn’t give to leave here and travel with him.” Oh, this is too much… she needed to get this conversation back on track._

_“We all know what you are after, dearie.” The first woman piped back up. Acantha wanted to tell both of these incessant and irritating morons to ‘shut up’… but, she had to play nice. Amanda was a nice mercenary, after all._   
_“No, no….” Acantha raised her hands to try and dissuade them. “... I just wanted to know where he went, I’m… a big fan, is all. Yeah…” She hoped that sounded convincing._

_But that only seemed to drive the ladies on, as they tapped her on the shoulder and smiled too sweetly at her._   
_“Big fan of the Blade Breaker, are you, then?” The Blade Breaker? Okay then, well, at least this was something to go off. “I’m sure you are; you never know, he might be single. Maybe you could do what we all wish we could do… snap him up!” Oh, why was this happening to her? Why were they doing this?! She side-glanced at her companion, to see him sitting on a bench, staring right at her. She glared at him, as all he was doing was sitting there and watching, smiling. Clearly enjoying the spectacle on display. Bastard. The two ladies were hardly paying any attention to her now; instead, too stuck in their own daydreams about this so-called ‘Blade Breaker’. Some of them were going into bedroom territory that Acantha really did not want to think about. She mouthed out two words to Lycus._

_Help. Me._

_But, that only made the male smile wider and wave at her. Fucker…_

_With an inward groan, she pulled her gaze back to the two women, catching them mid-sentence._   
_“Oh, I bet he is such a stud in bed. Clearly, he must have the stamina to put all our boys to shame….”_

_“Ladies!” Acantha interrupted them. They did finally pause and look at her. “...just tell me where he went. Please.” Please end this conversation, now._   
_“Oh! You are in a hurry, aren’t you… well… I saw him leave the village, heading west. Might have been leaving Kingdom territory. Shame… I would love to see him protect me up close and personal…” And there they go again. But, she had what she needed._   
_“Thank you! I’ll just be going now…” The two women didn’t seem to be paying attention to her now as she turned to leave. However..._   
_“Good luck! We’ll be rooting for you.” Acantha flinched mid-step, but turned with a shaky smile, giving them a thumbs up as she left and walked to her fellow Agarthan._

_“You looked like you were having fun.” He chimed and teased her. She scowled at him in return._   
_“Fuck you… arse.” But, that only made Lycus laugh at her harder._   
_“So, are we off to meet the future love of your life then?” She made a mental note to think of something cruel and unusual to get him back later. Also, as a reward for not slitting the throats of the two stupid beasts behind her. She rolled her eyes at him._   
_“Hurry up, we have to catch up to them. I’m eager to leave this rotten place.”_

And so, here they were, walking on dirt roads that were slightly muddy with the morning rain. They were heading into Empire territory now; she always felt a bit better in Imperial territory than the other two territories, just because of how much her people controlled behind the scenes. It wasn’t home, but… it was better. Not that the people didn’t stink just as bad, or the villages and towns just as vile. But, it was… more known. She couldn’t explain it. Just ‘the devil you know’, and all that. 

The two of them walked in silence most of the way: to anyone else, looking like a couple of mercenaries on the way to the next job. Amanda and Luke, as they were known right now, were dressed exactly how someone would expect. She was clothed in steel armour and leathers, a scabbard at her side. A swordswoman. Lycus was dressed in the cloth of a mage of reason, able to use his natural gifts for the battlefield, no matter who he was pretending to be. Hiding in plain sight, that was the Agarthan way. These looks had been ‘borrowed’ from two idiots who were in the wrong place at the wrong time. The Agarthans used powerful magic to clothe themselves in the looks of another, a technique these savages could never dream up in a million years. 

Signposts alerted the pair that they were leaving Kingdom territory and entering Imperial lands; good. 

“I almost feel sorry for Argus.” Lycus suddenly piped up as they were walking in the afternoon sun. The smell of the flowering fields lifted her mood somewhat, the stink of shit and animals finally behind her.  
“What?” Acantha replied. Lycus smiled, but didn’t look at her.   
“You didn’t have to scare him like that, you know.” She laughed; maybe not, but he should have done his job properly.   
“Maybe not.” She acted innocent and shrugged, placing her arms behind her head as they trudged along. “But, it’s not my fault he failed at his one job.” Acantha remembered what she had done to the guard once they were back at the small shack, masking the entrance to the underground lab. She moved so suddenly he did not expect it, proving her point that he was a poor guard. She floored him and held her knife to his throat, slicing a small flesh wound into his neck as he stared up at her wide-eyed, his eyes told her that he honestly thought he was about to die. Pathetic. She had laughed in his face as she let him go. That was fun. Still laughing as she moved away, she told him to just leave. He had done enough damage. 

“He deserved it, and now we have to clean up his mess.”   
“I suppose…” He sighed out. She had tried such a stunt with Lycus once, and she still had the burn mark on her stomach to show for it. That was fun; all she wanted was a bit of fight. To see that survival instinct in play, being meek was what cattle did. It was unbecoming for humans to act like that. He was one of the few that had her respect, but not that she would ever admit it. 

“Urgh, are we nearly there yet?” She asked, half to Lycus, half to no one.   
“Ever the impatient one.” He quipped right back.   
“Oh, shut up.”

It had taken another few hours of walking until they finally arrived at the first Imperial village, just inside the border. Acantha idly scanned her eyes around: the village was set up with decorations and stalls and shows all around; she wondered what the event was. Not that she actually cared. They were here for a job. She found that exotic smells of meat and sweets filled the air, better than how these places usually smelled, so she was thankful for that at least. 

It was Lycus’ turn to question the locals; she couldn’t be bothered having to try and play nice with some gossiping crazy women again. That was awful… even thinking about it made her grimace. She wondered about the stalls instead, looking over what was on display. Sweets, meats, foods, toys, weapons: all here. Nothing compared to what her people could make without even trying… but, it was interesting to see what these savages could do. The colours were certainly nice, at least. 

“Rose for the pretty lady?” A pushy male shoved right up to her. His white skin was deeply tanned, as if he wasn’t normally from around here.   
“Oh… no, thank you.” She tried to start.   
“Don’t worry! No charge for these! I just want to see smiles on this great day! Here.” He drew far too close to her as she tried to slip away, her hand hovering dangerously close to a hidden dagger on her belt. She flinched as she felt him reach out and place a flower in her hair, before suddenly drawing back and admiring his work. She could only blink at him as he nodded and grinned at her, before waving at her and leaving to pester some other poor unsuspecting person. 

She stared dumbfounded as she raised her hand up to touch the petals of the rose that was now nestled in her hair behind her ear.

“Oh, there you are…” The familiar voice of her fellow Agarthan rang out as she turned to greet him. “I found… wait…” He paused what he was about to say, as he stared up at the flower in her hair. “What the hell do you have in your hair…” He smirked, looking like he was trying not to laugh at her. Acantha couldn’t stop a flush of embarrassment at letting someone put a flower in her hair. She reached up to pull the plant away in disgust, yet stopped herself. She let her hand drop to her side.   
“Don’t you know how to blend in? Don’t you think this makes me look lovely after all?” She did her best to feel confident; seems something about all the rambling at trying to look and act like the masses did go in. She thought it might look bad if she acted how she wanted to: she wanted nothing more than to pull it out of her hair and destroy it under her boot. But, maybe this was a good thing; she had to look like everyone else. And right now, she couldn’t have looked further from the person inside. 

“Stop sniggering like a fuckwit and tell me what you were gonna say.” She rolled her eyes at him.  
“...seems like those mercs left this morning.” Oh great. “They seem to be heading south, southeast.”   
“Any idea where?”   
“No… they might be heading to another job. Could be anywhere.”   
“Great…” Acantha glanced up at the sun in the afternoon sky. She didn’t want to get dragged into a long-winded chase across the country, but, at the same time, they were putting distance between them if they waited. “Are there other villages that way?”  
“Plenty.”   
“Okay, let’s go. Try and catch up best we can until nightfall.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't fit everything I wanted this chapter as it would have gone on for too long for me.  
> Still tho means I have plenty for chapter 6. :)
> 
> Hope you are enjoying my work! Unsure when my next chapter will be out as I need to work on my Edeleth Big Bang submission entry. But it shouldn't be too long! Thank you for reading! Seeing your comments and thoughts is just the best writing fuel and I appreciate every one of you who took the time to comment. Big thank you. 
> 
> I also appreciate every kudos too! Thank you for saying you are liking my work. :)
> 
> Till next time!


	6. Nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally a new update! I know I've been working on other projects but this one isn't abandoned. To anyone coming back to this thank you for sticking with this! Anyone new, welcome! I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Now.. I need to put in a TW here, for self-harm. It's minor hair pulling induced by trauma. I don't think it's too bad but it's just a warning just in case. 
> 
> Thanks. :)

The steady movement of the horses was constant, the thud of the hooves on the road, the swish of a tail, the squeak and trundle of the cart. The idle chatter of the people of the band; it all started to drift into the background. Edelgard leaned back on the wood of her seat; it had been hours since they had set off. She simply watched the scenery around her: she didn’t know where they were, but the fields had gradually retreated to be replaced by woodland. Her eyes scanned around as the trees grew thicker around her, but her vision blurred with exhaustion. Birdsong surrounded them as the band carried on down the dirt track, it was so peaceful here. Her eyelids drooped shut, even as she quickly opened them once more. She was reminded of the serene gardens back at the palace. Her body cried out to her to sleep, but it hadn’t come easily; it didn’t any longer. Even now, though she was free, every time she closed her eyes, she was back there. Back in that cell in the darkness, back with her brothers and sisters; well...their dead bodies. Back with the rats. 

But, she was so tired; her body had been on constant high alert, even away from the pain and the location she had been, she just could not pull her mind away from that place. She felt frustrated; she wasn’t there anymore… yet… her subconscious didn’t seem to have caught up. Stray thoughts still hounded her: that these people were not her rescuers, they were only taking her to someplace else. No… she tried to shake her head, shake away such thoughts; that wasn’t what was happening. She… trusted Byleth. Yes...she did. She wouldn’t do that. She wasn’t like her captors, or her guards, or the nobles, or anyone she had been told was ‘supposed’ to protect her. Byleth hadn’t been appointed her guard, been ordered to do anything, she simply… was. That was right… wasn’t it?

Her mind still roiled away, furiously like a whirlpool; she felt so on edge, but there was a part of her that simply wanted to finally sleep. 

The steady rhythm of the world around her called to her, to lull her into laying her head back. It was okay, everything was okay. Without realising it, she slouched back, her eyelids drooping, trying in vain to stay awake. But, it wasn’t long before her battle was lost, and she drifted off, the world disappearing from around her. The road vanishing, the surroundings vanishing, Byleth… vanishing. 

_The metal rattle of chains, it was pitch black, she couldn’t see, where was she? This wasn’t real… it wasn’t real…_

_A squeak broke out in the dark, the thick blanket surrounded her and smothered her, dulling her senses. She was blind once more._   
_“Byleth!” She called out desperately. She had to be here, she had to be. “Byleth...where are you?!” She managed out with her sore throat and dry voice, her lips were cracked, her mouth parched, she knew where she was… tears threatened in the corner of her eyes…. But this wasn’t real… it wasn’t real. She wasn’t here… she escaped… she was rescued… she was, she was. Another high-pitched squeak near her, and she felt something touch her leg: the hard fur of a rat. Edelgard flinched and pulled, her chains keeping her in place as she jerked away from the creature, pain flared in her wrists as she tried to get away. This wasn’t real… she repeated to herself over and over again. Where was Byleth… she needed her. Tears blurred her vision: why was this happening?!_

_Suddenly, a door burst open; it clanged harshly into the wall of her cell. The noise blasting into the small room, that horrible white light filling the space, dripping over the contents and revealing what was in this cell with her. The faces of her siblings… each one of them frozen in time, each of them in agony as they died, life leaving them, dried dark blood oozing from them, rats pulling at the flesh still attached, skin rotting as it lay on the ground. She was back here… nothing had changed. She… had never left._

_It had all been a dream, she never left… she never left: she was still here. She stared up at her captors in a panic, her system flooded with that icy cold stab of fear; please… Edelgard just wanted to be left alone!_

_“Good morning, Your Highness, I hope you are well-rested; we have a long day ahead of us.” One of them spoke, venom dripping from his voice as he entered the room; the other one held the light aloft as he did so, his footsteps getting closer and closer to her. Edelgard squirmed in her bonds; she didn’t want this anymore! She just wanted it to stop! To end! She watched as his hand drew closer to her: he was going to hurt her again, he was going to cause her pain again._

_She didn’t want this…_

“No!” She screeched out. The high-pitched noise slicing through the calm like a knife. 

A horse whinnied loud and bucked from the sudden scream. Shouts and raised voices followed, the caravan of moving mercenaries ground to a sudden halt on the road. Edelgard was filled with panic and confusion: where was she?! What was going on?! Her breathing became rapid; what was happening?! Her pulse skyrocketed as she snapped her vision round; people were looking at her, everyone was looking. The cart was rocking as a horse was spooked, Edelgard gripped onto the wood, her fingers bit into the cart as her nails dug in and cracked under the pressure; pain shot up her digits, but it wasn’t enough to bring her out of her own fear ripping through her. 

“What happened?!” She recognised that voice, but she didn’t look at him. This Jeralt ran over to calm the bucking horse of the cart. She couldn’t look at him. Where was… where… Edelgard snapped her neck around to stare at Byleth. She was struggling with the reigns, her jaw tight, her teeth in a visible grit as she tried to keep her seat. Edelgard wanted to reach out… she needed her, but… was this real? Was she dreaming again? Which was real?!

Her hand had been extended out, she wanted her guardian, she needed her. But… was this real? Or was this the dream?!

Fear shredded her resolve to stay, and she found herself suddenly dropping off the cart, the animal finally starting to calm down, yet she felt the eyes of everyone on her, staring; she felt them pierce her, burying into her flesh, as if they were sharp knives peeling back skin. Her heart leapt into her mouth, as her legs filled with unstable energy: she bolted. 

“Where’s she going?!” Someone yelled.   
“Stop her!” Someone else…   
“Grab her!” 

That only made her legs run faster; her sprint was quick, despite the loose and baggy clothes and boots slowing her down, her fear energising her to keep going. Her mind was blank and filled with nothing but panic: she wasn’t thinking, she was just reacting. She dodged a female who grabbed for her, right into the grip of another.   
“Where are you going?!” She spoke to the panicked Edelgard, the voice was more confused than angry. But, Edelgard couldn’t register the difference right now. All she heard was her heart beating wildly as her mind raced. 

“Let go of her!” A familiar voice shouted. She couldn’t tell who it was. The fingers loosened their hold, she ripped her arm away from them and fled… trees were up ahead, the grass and rocks underfoot did nothing to slow her as she ran into the wild. She didn’t hear any footsteps, only her own rapid breathing; she couldn't get enough air in her lungs, and her boots as they crunched along the ground, but no other noises. Nothing behind her, no one was following her. 

She cried out as she ran, she didn’t know where she was going. Sharp branches scratched at her as her legs took her onward, using all the energy that her body had accumulated. The adrenaline forced her forward. She… didn’t know where she was going. It was getting dark in this forest; she knew she was getting lost, but… she still kept running. She was struggling with what was real and what was the dream. Yet… she was so tired, she felt exhausted, as the adrenaline was beginning to wear off and her tired muscles screamed at her to stop. Her chest heaved as her eyes snapped around. Up ahead… there was light through the trees. 

She slowed to a walk, her aching muscles thankful to stop their forced movement. Edelgard began to walk to the bright light, the small sanctuary in the low dimness of the woods. She felt cold; it reminded her of back there. Edelgard shivered; what was she doing? Why did she run? Her mind was finally starting to settle, the raging waters of her mind calming now, she could think. It was a dream… it had to have been. This was real… she was sure of it. She was away from that place. But… that dream had felt so real… why can’t she escape it…? She wasn’t there anymore. So why was it still there in her mind? It wasn’t fair. She sniffed as she made it to the light, the warm rays drifting over her skin like the loving hand of a guardian. That made her tears begin to fall in earnest, she had run from her guardian… she had run from Byleth. Why did she do that…?

Her legs lost their strength, and she collapsed to the grass, uncaring that the mud dirtied her pants. She ran away from Byleth. What if Byleth had stared at her like…? The images of the mercenaries came to mind. Their joyful faces, their smiles as they chatted, morphed into confusion: staring at her, trying to grab her. She hated it. She imagined Byleth staring at her like that… would she? What if she did? But yet… such a look did not conjure up into Edelgard’s head. She imagined Byleth’s face, and… she didn’t look at her any differently. She sniffed once again as more tears fell down her cheeks; she felt awful at running away… she just wanted to go back. But… she looked up and around, and she… didn’t know where she was. 

Her hands gripped into the soil underneath, pain lanced up her hand; she raised it: a fingernail was cracked and bleeding.   
“Ow…” She whimpered to herself as she pulled it to her chest. “Byleth…?” She whispered out. She wanted to see her… she wanted to say ‘sorry’ for running. She didn’t mean to run from her. Not Byleth. Not when Byleth had done nothing wrong and everything to help her… Edelgard needed her, and she had run away. She was still so, so exhausted, the trip of the day had sapped her; she had felt so much better this morning, too. Last night had been hard, trying...but she had Byleth there…

* * *

_“Here you are my child… take this.” A hand extended to her: in it was a plain, unassuming brown bottle. It was that healer from before, he had re-entered with Jeralt and was passing her this bottle. She was currently sitting on a bed with her still wet hair, dressed in simple undergarments that felt far too big for her. She stared at it. What was he wanting her to do with it? She didn’t move to take it. “Take this, for now; Jeralt has the rest.” She still didn’t move to take it. “I’m… only trying to help you…” His voice took on a slower tone, as if he was trying to show he was no threat; yet, his pitch only rose. She recognised that irritation. Her eyes narrowed as her body tensed._

_Suddenly, Byleth reached out to take the bottle herself, she pulled it from the priest’s hand across Edelgard’s view and back to herself._

_“Okay then… I’ll be going now.” The priest pulled his arm back and turned to leave. Jeralt stepped out of the way to let him pass. But, she darted her gaze over to her guardian, ever at her side. What was that bottle? Why was she just expected to take it? To follow orders… just like back there. Was she going to be forced if she didn’t?! Byleth’s gaze connected with hers. Her face seemed as passive as it ever was… yet… there was something in her eyes. Something fleeting, something… she couldn’t place._

_“What happens if someone takes this without needing to?”_

_Byleth, without warning, spoke. Her question seemed to surprise both the adults in the room. Why… why would she ask that? Edelgard moved her vision over to Jeralt, his brow was raised, as if he was surprised she had spoken at all. The priest froze in place as he was leaving. He turned back to the young indigo._   
_“Err...why would you ask that?” He started, confusion coating his question. But, a sudden sharp look from Jeralt next to him caused the older male to flinch. “I mean...nothing? I think? Yes. But I wouldn’t recommend it.”_

_“Edelgard…” A soft voice spoke next to her, claiming her attention as she looked back to the older girl sitting beside her. The only reason she was able to still be here in this room without trying to escape. A slight pop, as Byleth took the top off the plain brown bottle; she brought it to her lips as she took a swig of whatever was inside it. A stab of uncertainty in Edelgard’s heart: how did Byleth know that was okay?! For the first time since she was in that cell and her last sibling had left her… she felt concerned for… someone else. Her eyes widened as she watched Byleth pull the bottle away from her lips, a swipe of a sleeve over her mouth to catch an escaping droplet._

_“Here…” She began to hold out the open bottle now. “This is a vulnerary. It’ll make you feel better, and give you energy.” This made Edelgard’s eyes examine the bottle once again. It was? She had heard about vulneraries from being taught by her tutors, what felt like a lifetime ago now; however, the example she had been shown was a far fancier bottle than this. Was it really the same thing? Her guard began to drop, her body beginning to loosen, her arms had been folded tight up until now, and they slowly dropped onto her lap. She reached out and slowly took the bottle out of Byleth’s hand, the indigo’s warm fingers tracing her own as she gave the bottle over._

_“Come on, we’re leaving. Goodnight By-... you two.” Jeralt’s voice boomed in the room, funneling the healer out of the room and shutting the door. Once the door clicked shut, the energy in the room changed. It felt lighter, the atmosphere more relaxed; in fact, Byleth stood up from her position on the bed. She walked over to a bag near the other bed, and began to shuffle through it. She… wasn’t even watching Edelgard anymore. Was she not going to make sure she took it? There was no one watching her… no one waiting to punish her if she misbehaved, no one to force it down her throat if she refused. No one…_

_If she wanted to, she could pour this on the floor, right now._

_But… no, she wasn’t going to do that. She felt that Byleth was doing everything she could to help her, to show her that it was okay. And Byleth was getting through to her. This was okay… just like the food from before. Edelgard brought the medicine to her nose, wrinkling it at the smell. It certainly smelled like a vulnerary. She brought it to her lips and took a careful taste; it was all so slow, and all in her own time. She could do this. Byleth still didn’t turn around. Her heart felt calm, she was okay. She pulled her head back and let the liquid pass over her tongue and down her throat as she drank the medicine._

* * *

“Why did you let her go, Captain?!” Shouts and confusion bounced through the band. Everyone was looking at him, Jeralt was still holding onto the calming horse now, as he gripped onto the harness, stroking the head of the great beast as it settled. His heart was thundering in his chest even as he made sure not to show it. The image of those kids came to mind once more: those dead eyes, the smell, that look of pure fear on the last survivor. He saw that look once again, that same look. It haunted him. It took him back there; however, he swallowed his racing thoughts, which were surely nothing compared to what that girl had lived through. He was okay: he had his band, his daughter, he just needed to deal with it. What did she have? 

“She is not our prisoner!” He yelled back at his group. A stern voice of authority, reminding them just who they took orders from. A few mumbles and grumbles passed through, he knew they didn’t think that. They were just thinking of the money and her safety. They weren’t a bad bunch. The horse knocked against his hand now, the animal wanted to be petted by him. It made him smile, and he did as he was asked. 

“Dad…” A small voice next to him. He knew that voice so well, it made his heart sing to hear it. Every time. He was so unused to hearing her voice like this, something that wasn’t a simple answer to him. His eyes panned down to her. She looked up at him: that same passive face, ever blank to the world, yet he understood. Jeralt smiled warmly at her. A burst of pride in his chest.   
“Go on then…” Jeralt answered her unspoken request. He watched as his daughter walked through the still somewhat confused band as they looked at each other, then at her, until Byleth disappeared into the trees, following the same path the panicked survivor had taken.

She never usually asked for anything, never raised an opinion without being asked, never said anything without some sort of prodding. So this… Jeralt felt genuine happiness and was so proud of her. He was going to give her all the time she needed. 

“Break time, everyone!” 

* * *

  
Edelgard looked around from her silent, little glade: the light was starting to fade, it was getting later in the evening and clouds were rolling by, casting their shadows over the earth. It was growing colder, the little girl shivered as she sat on the damp earth. She didn't know where she was. Her vision cast this way and that, her eyes were so grey and bloodshot. She needed rest. But, she wasn’t going to get it here. She was sure she came from that direction, where the gap in the trees was, but… was it? What about the one over? Was that it? No, she was sure it was the first one… wasn’t it? 

Oh no…

What if she went the wrong way? What then? 

Her wounds still hurt; she wasn’t healed, and she needed her medicine soon. Infection still ran through her from her wounds… although, she gritted her teeth, there was one infection she wasn’t going to get rid of. She pulled her hair away from her face, a moment of pure anger rising over the sea of her fear. Her hair was a stark reminder of what they had done. She pulled her knees closer to her, wrapping her arms around herself. Should she try and find her way back? What if they had left her? Would they leave her? What if they didn’t want her there… the way they stared at her, looked at her. Like she was something to be looked after, coddled, or even worse… that there was something wrong with her. That she was a freak. A piece of hair fell back over her eyes: a pure white strand of hair. It was supposed to be brown… it wasn’t right! Red hot anger burned her insides, burning away the cold fear that had enveloped her, she gripped at the strand and pulled. With a very small snap of pain, she pulled it out and let it fall softly to the damp grass. Maybe... she should do that with all of her hair… she hated it. It was nothing but a reminder of what they did! Of how she was alone! How they took her family away from her! Of how they hurt her! Every single day! 

Her heart raced, her anger fuelled her actions, a seething all-consuming anger that fed on the fear inside her heart. She grabbed a fistful of hair now, the ugly, disgusting, alien white strands wrapped around her fingers, she hated it, she hated this! She wanted it all gone! It all out! White-hot rage seared through her being, eating away at her, maybe if she could get rid of it, it would all go away?! Make it stop?! 

Sharp pain lanced through her head as she began to pull, a few strands falling away, ripping…

“Edelgard?” 

She immediately stopped what she was doing. That voice she was so desperate to hear broke through her haze of rage, her anguish, her pain. Like an arrow shot in the darkness that found its mark. She froze. Edelgard stared up at her self-appointed guardian. There she was: Byleth. That face of hers stared right back. There was no anger, no fear, no emotion of any kind. Nothing. There was nothing but passiveness. Like a blank canvas, ready to be filled with colour. Yet… a sudden glint in Byleth’s eyes. There. Edelgard recognised it. That warmth. She wanted that, she wanted to capture it and have it all to herself. To wrap herself in it, and know that it would keep her safe. Yet… right now… she felt immense guilt at what she was about to do. She loosened her grip on her hair now… and let her fist fall to the floor. Her rage had all but vanished with Byleth’s appearance. 

The tears began once again… she couldn’t stop it… why couldn’t she stop it… stop this? 

“Can I come in?” Byleth asked of her. Edelgard didn’t trust her own voice not to waiver, even as she hid behind her own hated hair now, crying in earnest. She nodded. Edelgard listened as Byleth trudged closer and sat down next to her. Edelgard didn’t move toward her, but she didn’t move away; she just sat and let the tears flow.   
“It’s getting cold,” Byleth spoke into the quiet of the glade. She didn’t mention her running away, her apparent destructive behavior, nor her now crying... Edelgard sniffed as she tried to gather her voice.   
“Y-Yes…” 

Silence once more enveloped them, smothering them both in the thickness of it. No birdsong, no rustling, nothing but the sniffles of a little girl. 

Edelgard couldn’t help but feel awful about running away from her; she was so desperate to stay at her side… so why did she run away? She knew why… but… still…  
“I’m sorry.” She apologised. Something inside of Edelgard expected to be reprimanded, to be told off for running away, for doing something bad. But… there was no answer. Edelgard sniffed once more as she tried to force her tears to stop; she looked up at her guardian. Stoic as ever, there she was, looking out into the trees. Byleth caught Edelgard looking at her, yet as their eyes met, she smiled. A genuine smile, not a hint, not a small movement. She… truly smiled. A splash of colour on the once blank canvas. The little girl’s heart leapt as she saw it; such warmth, directed at her. Yet, as Edelgard blinked, that smile vanished to be replaced by the ever passive gaze of the older girl. Edelgard doubted what she had seen now, did she see a smile… or did she imagine it? Was she just seeing what she wanted, what she needed? Could she even read this Byleth after all? Fresh tears came unbidden as she dropped her gaze and cried once more. She didn’t know what to do. But, Byleth didn’t judge her, she didn’t order her about, tell her off… why… how was she like this? Who was she? She didn’t want to keep this to herself, she wanted to tell her… she wanted someone to know; no, she wanted Byleth to know. 

“I… dreamt I was back in that place… I-I… couldn’t take it… I’m… sorry. I didn’t mean to…” She was referencing her running away… but… words just tumbled out now; the dam had broken, she babbled and blurted out anything that came to mind. “Byleth, I don’t know what to do! I-I… can’t! I… hate them! I hate them! Why?!” She screamed now, her heart erupting and showing Byleth the side of her she was supposed to be hiding. To keep to herself, because… she wasn’t able to trust anyone… but… she trusted Byleth. She wanted Byleth to be here with her. To know.   
“Why did they do that?! I… miss my family!” Edelgard bawled and screamed into the glade. “I miss them! Why did they take them a-away!” A sudden arm encircled her and pulled her towards the body of her guardian… Byleth brought her close and held her there. Edelgard grabbed fistfuls of her guardian’s clothes and held her close, wanting to be safe once more, in the bubble of protection that was Byleth. 

The indigo began to rub her back, even as Edelgard’s words faded away into nothing but cries. 

“Please… don’t hurt yourself.” Edelgard tensed up. So she did see.   
“I’m sorry!” Edelgard responded automatically, feeling like she had done something wrong, only gripping harder to Byleth, in case the young girl decided to try and push her away.   
“My dad says that if we hurt ourselves, we are only letting our enemies win.” That made a wave of confusion hit her. She raised her head where she had been hiding underneath Byleth’s chin.   
“W-wha-”   
“I don’t want to see you lose to them. I know you can beat them. You can win.” 

A sudden gear turned in Edelgard’s mind. She wasn’t sure if Byleth had meant it this way, but the very idea of winning against them hadn’t even crossed her mind. She had only thought about running away, getting far away from them, she didn’t want to be hurt anymore. She was so scared. But… what if… just what if… she fell into Byleth’s chest, holding her tight. An idea forming in her mind, maybe… just maybe… one day. This cold sliver of an idea crawled into her heart and made a home there. Maybe she could truly win against them all. Somehow.

But… she couldn’t hold onto that thought for long. Keeping it safe inside her mind, she didn’t want to forget what Byleth had said to her. She wanted to keep those words safe, to lock them away and keep them forever. 

She would revisit that later… for now… she had this. 

The scent of Byleth filled her nose, the woody smell of plain clothes and travel, a hint of sweat but she didn’t care or mind. 

“Shall we go back now or…?” Byleth left the question in the air. She spoke so softly yet without judgement. Edelgard had no doubt that Byleth would sit with her for as long as she needed. A slight breeze picked up and wafted over the pair of girls in the darkening wood. Edelgard knew they needed to go back, a sudden thought crossed her mind, she didn’t even know what was in these woods, her eyes scanned the various natural paths that led away from the small glade. It wasn’t safe here. That small concern for another crept back into her thoughts, she wanted Byleth to be safe too. Back with the others. 

Edelgard nuzzled in closer for one last quick cuddle of her guardian, one last sigh, as Byleth gently rubbed her back. She felt that Byleth would have given her all the time in the world… but… time didn’t wait for anyone. With a pang of regret and longing, she nodded her head. 

“Okay.”

Her tears had dried, as the pair of them moved away from each other and stood up; with one last sniffle, Edelgard stood up next to the older girl. Said girl was quite a bit taller than her, causing Edelgard to look up to see her face. Once more, Byleth caught her eye and her gaze; Byleth’s face in this low light, seeing her here, right now, she felt calmer. 

“C’mon.” With that word, Byleth held out her hand, waiting for Edelgard to take, but Edelgard didn’t feel forced, nor expected; she never did, with Byleth. She could ignore the offered hand and Byleth would not have said a word, which only made her want to accept the hand even more. Her small, frail, scarred hand met the calloused, hard hand of the other girl, strong fingers held onto her small palm. No force or pressure, but the grip was reassuring. Edelgard knew that if she so much as pulled away with the faintest of force, Byleth would let her. 

But, she made no such move, and allowed Byleth to walk her along a nearby natural path; back through the trees, the light was fading now, as evening slowly dripped its way over the day, the night soon to follow. Byleth seemed to know exactly where she was going, the walk was slow, Edelgard didn’t remember this at all in her panicked state. But, soon enough… the trees finally broke their hold over the small travellers, opening back up to the dirt road, they both left. 

Warm chatter met them, laughter and light grumbles about the weather. They were looking at her again… all of them gave a quick glance, some… even smiled. Edelgard didn’t understand… but… they weren’t looking at her in pity… or disgust… or fear. They nodded at Byleth now, as she made her way through the small temporary mass of people. Edelgard still didn’t really like it… but… this was okay. She… was okay. 

Byleth made her way over to the cart they had both come from, the same one she had been travelling in all day. Edelgard gazed over to the horse that she had spooked before accidentally, the animal seemed quite content eating something from the hand of the huge hulking man that was Byleth’s father. She...still couldn’t look at him. She just followed the indigo back onto the cart, grabbing onto the wood with her good hand, and heaving herself back up behind the other girl. 

“Break time’s over!” 

**Author's Note:**

> Here is my [Twitter](https://twitter.com/ReevaKnight) :).


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